small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: cell phone

Thursday, March 23

cell phone

One of the things about me that might surprise some of you is that I’m slow to accept change or for the lack of better terms, any new shit. I was one of the last muthafuckers I knew to get a VCR cause I didn’t trust nothing I couldn’t wind the tape thru myself. I was one of the last cats to purchase a CD player and of course it took me years to break my death grip on VCR tapes and buy myself one of those new fangled DVD players.

But I was one of the first people to use cell phones or have one installed in one of my cars, and that’s only because of who I work for. Back in the day I actually hauled around a cell phone that weighed close to ten pounds and would actually drain the battery in the fuckin car if I left it on too long without the engine running. Then I had a hidden cell phone installed in my truck inside the jump seat with the antenna under the hood where no one could see it. Oh yeah, I was bad and nation wide.

So this morning I decided to step into the twenty-first century and order myself a cell phone. And I know what you’re all thinking, “but Greg, are you sure cause that’s a pretty big fuckin step for a muthafucker who doesn’t know a mp-3 player from a pile of buttered toast.”. Well, all I can say is that I gave it a lot of thought and consideration because after all I’m not the most social of muthafuckers and if I’m at home I rather stare at the phone then answer it. Hell, you knock on my door and it won’t get answered either if you want to get all nuts and bolts about it.

But I think one of the deciding factors in getting a cell phone is that I actually found one that I can see the fuckin numbers and screen on. It’s one of those Motorola RAZR phones and did you know if you work for a certain organization such as I do you get a nice discount and shit? Who fuckin knew? Anyway, I’m gonna give it a try and see how the ball bounces and all that good shit. Plus just betwixt you and me, the MAN is getting kind’a fed up with me using his just to order take-out.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger LL said...

Next thing ya know, you'll be downloadin' kick ass tunes as ringtones and you'll be Hip Death.

12:59 PM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...

Hey! Welcome to the 90's!

2:17 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

Make sure you get a Ring Back Tone. That's an annoying music or audio clip (I love the ones by Steve Harvey) that callers hear instead of the standard ringing sound.

I have the James Bond Theme on mine. Was going to take it off until I found out:

1: It makes people reluctant to call you (thereby reducing unwanted airtime minutes)

2: My ex-wife finds it PARTICULARLY annoying. If she only knew that the personalized ring tone I have loaded on my phone plays the theme from The Exorcist every time she calls. Ahhhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Bitch.

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

me so proud!
-- so boasts the sister

10:04 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home