small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: from the archives.......Roger

Monday, March 6

from the archives.......Roger

The other day I’m watching TV with Michelle and the restored version of the film classic Lawrence of Arabia was on. I’ve seen this movie maybe twice before but for some reason I seemed to enjoy it more this time around. Anyway, one of my favorite scenes from the movie is when Lawrence decides to go back across the “Hammer of God” to retrieve one of his Arab friends who’d fallen off his camel. But Omar Sharriff is going nuts because he thinks it’s a foolhardy attempt, and he’s bitching up a storm.

But I dig the scene because it shows the depth of the two character’s friendship. And when the Turks had Lawrence tied up in jail whipping his “fair skinned” ass, did he get as the British sometime put it, a “rogering”? The film never showed the “rogering”, but if you watch Lawrence’s behavior toward the Turks from that point on, it seems to make sense. The British have such an eloquent way of putting things. And what did poor Roger do that was so bad as to get the British slang term for butt fucking named after him? Fuck, now that I think of it, ole Roger must’a been a getting around it muthafucker?

You got “roger”, “roger-wilco”, and “roger-that”. Just who was Roger? He had to be heavy into ass-spelunking to get that act named after him and he must’a started off in the military or some such shit to get call-sign named after him. I know here in Kansas City there’s a “Roger the Plumber”, which even though it sounds gay, I’m sure it’s not. Oh, I forgot about “roger-dodger”, which if you say that to me will get you pushed down in a hurry. Then of course there’s the famous duo “Roger & Hammerstein”. Which brings me to this shit, “James/Jim, William/Bill, Richard/Dick?”

Now I want one of you muthafucker’s to sit down and tell who started this shit. What in the blue screaming fuck does James, William, and fuckin Richard have to do with Dick, Bill and Jim? What? What? Goddammit! I’m not leaving till someone tells me what the correlation is between this shit! Now Barb and Barbara make sense. Even Greg and Gregory make sense. But R-i-c-h-a-r-d has nothing to do with D-i-c-k! Now does it. Muthafucker’s don’t even sound alike.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most of the Richards I know are ...........dicks. As far as James/ Jim goes, just refer to them as Mr.
K Sose

6:00 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

Lawrence of Arabia was not just "Rodgered" by the Turks, he was, as the Brits say, "Rodgered Roundly!" Which, if you think about it (and please don't), sounds especially unappealing.

As far as the James/Jim Richard/Dick thing, I don't know what to tell you.

The name that really bugs me is that Quaterback Brett Favre. He pronounces it "FARVE". Look at the spelling bitch! The V comes before the R! Your name is pronounced Brett FavRay! Stoopid jock!

You can't just make shit up! Like that singer SADE. How the fuck does that spell SharDay? Huh?

From now on, my name is spelled Xavier, but it's pronounced "Bocephus".

7:16 PM  
Blogger simon said...

Tight assed linguistic Brit to the rescue...

Actually, (you can pronounce that Ashley if you want...I'll relax my sphincter that much) 'rogering' usually refers to a damn good shagging/playing Mr Wobbly hides his helmet/parting the hairy curtains...of, in and of respectively, the vaginal orifice.

Was he buggered by the Turks? Did he have his shirt lifted? Were his turds burgled? Was entrance via by the back passage attempted?

I fear the only definitive answer would be provided by a careful examination of the skid marks on his kecks.

Whether or not these eventually made it into the archives of the Imperial War Museum is a matter for conjecture.

My own personal opinion is that given the geographical propensity for 'a woman for necessity, a boy for pleasure and a goat for ecstasy', faced with an overly white-skinned Englishman in bondage, it would most definitely have been a case of "Who's your daddy?".

Hope this helps.

8:01 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home