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Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: from the archives.....why I named this blog what I did

Thursday, April 13

from the archives.....why I named this blog what I did

I’ve decided to change the name of my blog site. It came upon me to combine the current title along with my love of professional wrestling. So from now until I get bored with it my weblog will henceforth be called “Death’s Door, the view from the Spanish Announcer’s Table”. Please, please, keep your applause to a minimum, thank you.

For those of you that don’t know, the Spanish announce table has the distinction of being one of the longest running inside jokes in television history. If you’re a fan of professional wrestling and watch the monthly pay-for-views, you’ve always noticed that along with the usual table where the regular play-by-play announcer’s sit, not very far away sits another table. This is the spot where the Spanish announcer’s sit and calls the matches in their native tongue.

Back in the day you’d even see at some of the really big matches not only the Spanish announcer’s table, but also the German announcer’s table along with the French announcer’s table. But for the past thirty years or so they’ve been sticking with just the Spanish announce table. Now here’s the skinny on the table, the Spanish announce table has for years been the hardest worked prop in wrestling history. It’s become tradition to involve the table in any number of matches.
“There goes the Boston Mugger climbing to the top rope! He does a reverse Emory off the top turnbuckle and lands groin first onto the face of the Masked Marauder who’s standing on the floor below. Both men crash in a heap of mangled flesh and bones on the arena floor! But wait; jumping over the barricades is is, oh my God!!! It’s fuckin Dirk Diggler, the Boston Mugger’s current love interest!

He grabs the Masked Marauder and puts him into a reverse Boston Crab! Jesus fuckin Christ! That’s got ‘a hurt. Now both the Mugger and Dirk are picking the Marauder up and God Damn! They just smashed him into the Spanish announcer’s table as Tito Swan and Hector Gun, the Spanish announcer’s go running for safety. My God, they just stomped a mud hole into that boy then just walked it dry!”

What I just described happens at every wrestling pay-for-view. You never know who, but somebody’s ass is getting thrown thru the Spanish Announce Table in one form of another. The waitings almost too good to take.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


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