small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: I'm a little teapot, this is my handle and that is my cock?

Monday, April 10

I'm a little teapot, this is my handle and that is my cock?

Saturday night I’m sitting at the Hurricane waiting on the metal show to start. Around the block at another club the band Jackyl is playing and before they go on the same club is hosting a pregnant bikini contest. And the only reason I mention all this is to kind’a give you a picture of what kind of night it is and shit. So like I said I’m sitting in the Hurricane waiting on the metal bands to start and I’m watching all the black tee shirts mill about and I’m checking out the rock chicks along with people I know.

This couple comes in and takes a seat next to me at the bar, nothing unusual except that the chick misses her stool completely almost ending ass first on the floor. After getting settled they order themselves a round of drinks and I guess that’s when the chick gets a good look at me cause the next thing I know she’s tapping on my arm trying to get my attention.
“Cuse me, cuse me… know you look just like my son?.....cuse me, cuse me….yeah you look just like my son except that he’s white which don’t really mean nothin”
Her boyfriend is trying to grab her because by that time she’s all about holding my hand like I’m the fuckin second coming and shit, and he’s all apologetic as hell. I tell em she’s not hurting anything so no big deal.
“You look so much like my son…he’s a big ole fella just like you except that he’s white and he ain’t got no beard…but other then that he looks just like you….
And I’m not trying to pick up on you but you look so much like my son who would probably be mad at me cause his momma’s acting like a drunk whore….but I’m not a whore it’s just that you look so much like my son”
And this goes on and on and on…..

Suddenly my cell phone rings and when I excuse myself to answer it there’s a voice on the other end going;
“hi boy, I’m your momma and I wanna fuck you, you look like my son and I wanna fuck you”
I look at the caller ID and it’s actually one of the bartenders all bent over behind the bar calling on her phone fuckin with me. The chick by now is telling me what her son does for a living and that he’s around twenty-five years old and that I must be around the same age?

And as I tell her that I’m actually forty-seven I see two things sudden happen. She nipples up like a muthafucker and the look on her face goes from here’s a cat around my boy’s age to here’s a man only a couple of years older then me and she’s suddenly into full blown MILF mode. But luckily one of my buddies just arrived and took the seat betwixt us and could act like a buffer I hoped. But after finding out my age she went into overdrive and actually climbed over my pal to come stand next to me.

I kind’a felt sorry for her boyfriend who could only watch as his girlfriend commenced to climbing over me like I was her backyard swing set. But I kept my hands in plan sight at all times just so he knew I wasn’t trying to drop off three fingers or something like that.
“You look just like my son……..I’m not trying to be a whore or suck your cock but I feel so safe with you….safer then I do with my boyfriend…..I loves me a big man”
This went on for a while longer until her boyfriend talked her into leaving. She was kind'a cute and all that but you know.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"like i was her backyard swingset".....thats a helluva visual my dear.
--so sees the sister

10:37 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I have to agree with so sees the sister.

I have a low tolerance these days for drunks like that, maybe I am getting too old and way too crabby.

10:49 AM  
Anonymous RD said...

I got a cat that does that but all it says is 'meow'. You have the patience of Job my man. Sounds like the boyfreind was trying to be cool. Way to maintain.

2:11 PM  
Blogger LL said...

I don't know how I missed this post. DAMN, you meet some freaks!

12:32 PM  

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