small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: what's my name?

Monday, April 3

what's my name?

Besides sitting in front of my computer being a freak this weekend, I brought and watched the movie “King Kong”. I can say that watching this movie was one of the oddest movie experiences I’ve ever gone thru. I put it on Friday after I got home from the bar and watched it till just before the New York segment came on after they captured Kong. Then I put the DVD on pause cause goddamn, I had to take a fuckin breath cause I swear once the muthafuckers hit Skull Island I don’t think I took a breath or blinked at all. I’m sitting on the couch watching the fuckin movie thinking,
“fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…..muthafuck…fuck….why is my fuckin heart beating so fuckin hard”?
It was then I figured I needed a break and come over and started fuckin with my phone and computer for the next four hours or so. The next morning after sitting in front of the stinkin computer and phone for more hours, I got some lunch and started the movie over from the beginning. Here’s my notes on the movie.

• Kong was absolutely fuckin perfect. All beat up and scarred like some old boxer or a giant gorilla who was the last of his kind should be. And except for the size he acted like a fuckin gorilla and not some clown in a gorilla suit.

• The military needs to look into whoever made the nightgown or slip the chick in the movie was wearing. Cause as much as that chick got slapped around, dragged thru the mud, fingered by Kong, or sucked on by giant bugs or hungry tyrannosaurus, that muthafucker never ripped or showed signs of coming apart. Plus apparently it enables her to run around fuckin New York in the fuckin snow like she was some sort of Eskimo and shit.

• Give Jack Black props for reining his shit in. I don’t know wither it was the shock collar or what, but he left all his wacky over the top Jack Black personas in the trailer.

• The fight Kong had with the tyrannosaurus fuckin rocked. It’s a toss up betwixt that scene or the one with the giant bugs in the pit that fucked me up the most.

• The chick was a perfect pick for the movie. I loved the part during the fight with the tyrannosaurus where she moved to stand between Kong’s legs. The look on her face was all my boyfriends back and you’re getting your ass handed to you.

• Pussy will get a cat in trouble every fuckin time.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Nightmare said...

Well I better watch it then, with such a glowing recomendation why wouldn't I like it? I liked the first three King Kongs.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Bella said...

YEAH BABAY!!! Now, I'm gonna have to change my Netflix picks so that I can get it next time. It sounds awesome. Thanks for the reveiw.

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cant quite get this on eberts reviews. the military part was extremly priceless, as was the "my boyfriend is back" statement.
---so agrees the sister

3:49 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy 2x4 said...

I liked it a lot, too. The only major problem I had was that runtime was just too long, coulda shaved 30 minutes out of it easily and still left all the cool fights.

And a 25 foot ape sliding around on ice is gonna fall through, that was just a lame scene. We all knew Kong was a silly-heart.

8:15 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Yep, that last sentiment, about pussy getting a cat in trouble, is SO true.

6:27 AM  
Blogger Bane said...

Would you recommend it for a five and a seven year old?

2:00 PM  
Blogger Death said...

There’s no sex or bad language that I noticed. The skull Island natives are your National Geographic verity. The movie is actually less sexist then the 1933 original. The only thing that might bother your kids might be the giant man eating bugs or sailors getting killed on the island but then kids usually dig that kind of shit, especially the older one. It’s no worse then the Lord of the ring movies as far as violence goes I guess.

2:24 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

What's your name....?
I thought it was "Daddy".

2:30 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

The scene when Kong gets captured and they throw the bigg hooks into him and shoot him with a harpoon gun might freak out kids a little. Hell, it started to upset me when they drug him down!

3:10 PM  

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