small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: grumblings

Wednesday, May 24


Am I the only muthafucker that doesn’t watch “Lost” or “24” or the stinkin “Soprano’s”? “Lost”, lost my attention after the first episode, “24” never appealed to me plus muthafucker’s are always hollering and shit. You ever notice that? Every commercial for “24” has the Sutherland cat screaming about something. Just a little bit “too” much for me. And as far as the “Soprano’s” goes, I knew muthafuckers like that back in the day and that was enough for me. I sure in the fuck don’t want to watch em on the fuckin TV.

On another note I drive Ward Parkway here in town to work and back most days. The posted speed limit is thirty-five but muthafuckers must be retarded or dyslectic and shit cause most of em drive Ward Parkway closer to fifty. Myself, I keep it between thirty-five and forty since I know that somewhere the Man’s waiting for me to fuck up. Plus I don’t know how it is where you muthafuckers live but around these here parts when you get a speeding ticket it costs serious money plus your insurance rates tend to go the fuck up.

Anyway, I’m usually doing just under forty and there’s always some cocksucker riding my tail and doing the angry speed around me thing. When that happens I’m always wishing all kinds of ill will shit on em cause what? Are they gonna pay my ticket or insurance when it goes up for speeding? I don’t fuckin think so. But I do get a high hard one when I see these same muthafuckers pulled over by some cop for being a speeding prick. I always wanna drive by doing the insane old man scream; “that’s what you get for speeding you stupid fucktard!”

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

TV sucks.

I slow down even more for tailgaters.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

I don't watch any of those shows.

When they first announced that the concept of "24" was that it took place in "real time", that blew it for me.

All I could think was, what if the guy in the show has an hour commute to work like me? The whole first episode would be him driving to work, smoking like a chimney and yelling at stupid assholes.

Fuck that.

6:09 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

I've never seen the Sopranos, 24, Friends, Ally McBeal, ER, House, or American Idol.
I *have* seen Deadliest Catch.

And I must be retarded and dyslexic and basically an asshole, because I pretty much drive 60 where ever I go. This also means that regardless of whether the speed limit is 35 or 70 (on the interstate), I'm doing 60.

OK, so that makes me an asshole. What can I say.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Death said...

yeah but you're cute with a big rack and you don't drive anywhere near me. so you don't count so you could never be an asshole. plus you live in the country so it's just you and mother nature. and if you drove like that near me I'd just have to spank you. hard. :)

9:50 PM  

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