small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: J. C. Nichols Fountain

Monday, May 8

J. C. Nichols Fountain

There’s this big fountain near my home call the J.C, Nichols fountain, and I noticed that some lame cocksuckin cum guzzler filled it full of detergent. This is really bugging the fuck out of me cause it’s a pretty cool fountain and seeing it always puts a smile on my face. And now some little smartass bastard child of a syphilitic whore decided they wanted to fuck with it.

See, that’s how pussies do shit, their probably thinking they’re cool or edgy by throwing soap in the fuckin fountain. But all their doing is fuckin shit up for the rest of us who enjoy shit like that. I’d love to catch em and power-wash their fuckin faces with a bar of Lava soap until I hit bone.

Oh, and on a side note do you muthafuckers realize that Kansas City ranks second in the world in number of working fountains erected in the city. Only Rome, Italy, has more. Second in the world muthafuckers.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger HateTaxes said...

You know they are pussies, since they do it in the dead of night. Grow some balls and do it when people are watching.

That is cool shit that Kansas City is 2nd in the world for the number of fountains. I am from Newark NJ and we were first in the US for VD. Different expectations I guess.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

""little smartass bastard child of a syphilitic whore""

That is a hysterical!

10:33 AM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

I love KC and I love the fountains. But I've always been a little skeptical about the dubious claim of "having more fountains than anywhere but Rome".

Who's the motherfucker who visited every single city on the fucking planet, counted all their fountains, tallied the results, and ranked us Second?

What is his name? When did he do it? How long did it take him? How far behind are we? Is that "per capita" or gross total? Where can I find the published results? Does the J.C. Nichols fountain count as just 1 or is it 4? Could we add a half dozen more fountains somewhere and claim First Place?

Just curious.

5:57 PM  

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