small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Inertia

Tuesday, June 27


So did you muthafuckers read about the science project that went on in Florida? Yeah, some chick rolled her SUV and got ejected thru the fuckin sunroof. She’s ok but how she popped thru the sunroof weighing all of six hundred pounds has scientist all over the country baffled. Fuck the scientist, how she popped her huge ass thru the sunroof has me fucked up with the dumbass. Inertia’s a bitch.

And last night whilst in bed I got to thinking about shit we did as kids and what was taken for granted. For instance back in the day no kid with a shred of self respect wore a bicycle helmet. Well unless you had the thin skull then you had to ride wearing a football helmet. And if you fell or rode into a wall or tree your father walked out and told your clumsy ass to walk it off and you better not be bleeding all over the yard. Cause goddammit he’ll give you something to bleed about.

But we never wore em or knew there was such a thing as bike helmets. And now what do you see? Every muthafucker on a bicycle is wearing a helmet, and wouldn’t be caught dead without one. Bike helmets, nose guards, nut and pussy protectors, special shoes, it just goes on and on and on.

Then what do I read as soon as I start checking the news this morning? More and more schools are eliminating recess cause they think it’s dangerous for the stinkin kids. Playing tag or kickball and playing on the cocksuckin jungle gym is now considered dangerous and too harmful for kids to be doing. And muthafuckers wonder why little Johnny and Sue got the mental and social skills of a corn eatin retard.

To me this is just another example of the pussification of America. Kids aren’t able to learn the proper skills to interact and parents lack the proper skills to show their little fisters how to do shit, and the fuckin schools are expected to cover all the fuckin bases and god fuckin forbid one of these little teabaggers sprains a fuckin toe playing kickball cause the fuckin parents will sue the school district telling everyone within hearing that Johnnie’s ruined and won’t be able to get into cocksuckin Harvard.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Welcome to the Monopolistic Corporate Socialist Police State of America. Make sure you wear your helmet and knee pads at all times. By the way, we will put this little chip under your skin incase you get lost or kidnapped. Do not worry, we will not track you if we prove that you are an innocent and will not cause us any trouble.

Remember, your government loves you and will take care of you, now sit down and shut the fuck up bitch because we are in charge and own your stupid ass, now have a nice day. Thank you.

The Guvment.

(This public service announcement was brought to you by Corporate America, the Way of life is litigation organization (I.E. Lawyers who control your urges), and Big Brother)

11:02 AM  
Blogger Bong On Bong said...

It's the fuckin' lawyers and insurance companies.
I heard this morning that children will no tbe allowed to play tag during recess because some kids were suffering from low self-esteem. That's what the fuckin' 4-square courts are for. So you can eliminate the four squares who couldn't hack it in tag, dodgeball had something to do.

12:43 PM  
Blogger ajw308 said...

No recess? The boys aren't bouncing off the walls because they are ADD, ADHD, or whatever alphabet salad they come up with next (the word verification string below could easily be the next syndrome to affect kids).

They are bouncing off the walls because:
1 The teachers don't know how to handle boys, and
2 The boys haven't had the opportunity to burn off their energy and testosterone by running, throwing and an occasional schoolyard fight.

By the way, no kids were ever harmed for life in a schoolyard fight.

12:58 PM  
Blogger LL said...

They're just screwing with the natural order of things. I'm sure Darwin is shittin' in his grave right now!

**No children were harmed in the writing of this comment and all child labor laws were obeyed.

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck the fucken fuckers that want to eliminating recess. Recess is a way of life. If your the one with the ball then your in charge. I say dodgeball the people who want to get rid of it.

4:18 PM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...

This is only like, 10 years ago when bicycle helmets were just starting to come around, and I was already an adult who somehow survived my childhood years on the playground and on a bicycle - if not both at the same time. Anyway, there was a kid in our last neighborhood who's parents made him wear one. The other kids his age would see him coming and say "Here comes 'Crash Test Dummy'!"
Yeah. That did him a world of good.

But about closing playgrounds: What else can they do? School districts can't afford them, what with law suits and no budgets. Maybe it's time for parents to pull heads out of their self-serving assholes and realize that they need to fork up a little more money for their teacher/baby-sitters, and don't be calling a lawyer every time Jimmy beats the shit out of Johnny because Johnny was taught that everyone is the same, everyone is nicey-nice, it's always someone else's fault never their own, .... the socialist list goes on.

4:44 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Exactly what has this all got to do with socialism?
I've been beat up more times than I can count, and I've kicked the shit out of a couple of people myself. This hasn't got jack to do with socialism.. it has plenty to do with all the elitist fuckers with the money who are finally coming around to realise that the poor folk not only outnumber them 10 to 1 but that those same poor folk are pissed off. So all these republican Hummer-driving aristocrats have to come up with all these bullshit ways of keeping the populace in its proper place... this isn't socialism, guys.. this is good old American Capitalism.

5:55 PM  
Anonymous RD said...

I'm picturing "The Blob". EeeeeeeK! I did have a 350 pound truck driver scramble out the back window of a single stack Mack after wrecking an 8,000 gallon semi full of gas many moons ago. An there are many caught dead wearing helmets - sad.

11:40 AM  
Blogger HateTaxes said...

Every day of every week of every month of every year we lose more and more common sense and gain more and more government control. All you children practice your heel clicking, you will need it soon.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Justin said...


I just blogged about the same damn thing this past Tuesday... Safety police can suck a nut, for all I care!

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

satyavati, all I can say is whhaatt?? Republican, Hummer driving aristocrats want to take away recess to.... keep poor people in "their" place?? Lord man, step out of your Peace and Justice meeting, lay down the bong, and let your head clear.

The answer to the pitiful state of public education is simple. Vouchers. You want your sons to continue to be fed the liberal BS(check out a history book), ala rain forest math, global warming garbage, the eviiiil white men that founded our country, fine, send Johnny to the local PS.

OTOH, you want your boy to learn the truth about this great country and be given the basic tools to start to deal with life, IOW, like Greg says, walk it off, than use that voucher to send him to a school that does that. Once vouchers were in use, competition would sprout many different kinds of "schools" And who do you think is going to turn out the thinkers and leaders of tomorrow? The pussified public schools or schools of a more traditional nature? Like Mao said, "Let a 1,000 flowers bloom"

Only when the stranglehold of the teacher's union is broken will our country start a slow come back. That's right, they have fucked us that badly.

9:14 AM  

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