small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: more Hurricane moments from years past

Friday, June 23

more Hurricane moments from years past

****Sitting at home late one night when I got the strong urge to go out. I’m walking past the Hurricane stage door when it suddenly bangs open and all this smoke, screaming bodies, and funk comes rolling out the door. I step in expecting to see death and devastation but it was just the Porn Huskers doing their thing on stage. It was like some kind of goddamned pressure valve popping off.

****Stank ass quote of the week;
“Two big niggers like us need a bigger bathroom, huh?”
This was said by a newly turned twenty-one year old white boy wearin all the “freshest” hip hop gear who followed me into the bathroom of the Cane. Then he went into the crapper and shut the door because he couldn’t piss standing next to a Natural Man.

****I decided my anger needed a drink so I went down to the Cane. It was so painful. They had three Indie Rock bands playing that night. These bands sang about love, they sang about fate, they sang about shit that I couldn’t relate. And they did it at a very low volume; they were so quite that people in front of the stage could hear conversations back at the bar. I wanted to hear LOUD ANGRY SCREAMIN ROCK! I WANTED TO HEAR ABOUT SOMEONE GETTING FUCKED BY DEAD PEOPLE AND BITCH SLAPPIN THE OLD LADY FOR PETTING THE DOG WRONG! I WANTED TO HEAR ANYTHING BUT soft tree hugger Indie Rock Music sung by people full of love for their fellow man and why can’t we all just get along and save the gay sperm whales and all hold hands and hug a plant for FUCKIN JESUS!! ARUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****Sunday night at the Cane C.C. Deville of ex-Poison “fame” preformed. The band was called Samantha 7. I was looking forward to hearing C.C. play again. Back in the day I found Poison kind’a fun to watch. They were known as the happy metal band. So after hearing “the buzz” about his new band and how he had cleaned up and was “rocking” harder then ever, I really wanted to check him out.
So I did. And he sucked. And he should have stayed on drugs. I, I can’t think of anything else to say.

****“we got so drunk at our last gig that the band broke up for three hours, over a sandwich.”
-- A band knocking back a few at the Hurricane

****After the show I went down to the Hurricane to have a few. Our man Steve was behind the bar doing his thing and I was sitting at the bar coughing down a Old Crow when I look to my left and got the crap shocked out of me. There was a women a few stools down who was staring at me with this real twisted grin. She was a dwarf and she wanted to hookup with somebody! I did my best not to make eye contact cause you see, I had just seen a porno with dwarf women in it and the last place I wanted to go was there! I know, dwarf’s need love too, but it was not my time. Lucky for me she turned her attention on some other guy. One of the reasons I dig Steve is that we always seem to notice the same things, like when the dwarf chick had her short arm shoved down the guy’s pants, Steve picked up on it. When the Dwarf Chick went to the john and the guy was waiting outside for her, Steve and I both hollered score!
I wonder how was it?

****"Once I saw someone get hit in the face with a line drive during a Little League game... I laughed for an HOUR!!!! Nothing funnier than an Infant catching a 90 mph hunk of Rawhide in the mush right in the stroller"

Little league coach in the Hurricane on a Saturday afternoon drinking binge.

****"Once my Father's chair collapsed under him as he leaned back while the cable guy was installing our system. The Sumbitch wiped out and his head landed in the dog dish FILLED with Alpo. It took EVERY FIBER, MUSCLE AND OUNCE OF WILL I had to hold the laughter in. I strained so hard I actually popped a vessel on my forehead and crapped my jeans. Had headaches for a WEEK afterwards,"

Drunk in the Hurricane just before he started crying cause I ignored him

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Bella said...

LOL!!! That was a great post. CC DeVille - hadn't seen since he was on Rock Jeopardy. That guy always scared me. His voice is a little too much like Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley.

5:42 PM  
Blogger LL said...

I gotta say hon, this is the BEST way to remember someplace. Thanks for all the little tidbits!

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greg, I love your shit, i been reading for 2 years. But run a spell checker buddy, it reads like your dumb and i know you ain't

4:00 PM  
Blogger Matty said...

I've always considered it one of life's great ironies that we'd see shit at the Hurricane every night that normal folks would remember for the rest of their lives, and we'd forget about it by the next morning. It's a good thing you remembered, or nobody would believe half of it. Cheers, brother.

5:39 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home