small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, June 30

sweatin the small stuff

I’ve come to the realization that it’s come down to me and my genes to break the cycle. So in an effort to save America I’m gonna knock some chick up and spawn myself a brood of badass muthafuckers. My seed will become the seed that plants the seed that will offset the pussiefication of America.

No more bicycle helmets, no more Nintendo, no more whiny little bitches bitching about playing sports, or eating the right fuckin foods. My kids will know what its like to spit on the playground, respect their elders, how to finish a fight in the proper manner. You fall off a wall, walk it off, you ride your bike into a tree or crack off an ankle taking a corner, walk it off. You take a shot to the face in dodge ball; you better send that muthafucker back just as hard.

Some fey cocksucker steps up in your face, beat his ass like he owes you money. As a matter of fact carry a fiver so you can give it to him then make him run so the ass kicking will be that more outstanding. I want my kids to play on the fuckin jungle gym and climb trees and be free masturbators.

I’ll teach em how to treat women the same way they’d want their mother or sister treated. Protect the old and weak, call a cocksucker a cocksucker and learn which end of the fuckin dog to pet. You muthafucker’s think you can dig down to China; here’s a fuckin shovel so start digging cause it’s the only way you’ll learn some shit.

Stand up straight and learn how to look a muthafucker in the eye. Respect the laws but also understand how to question those same laws and love your country cause it gave you everything you fuckin got. My sons and daughters will be the new generation; you had the me generation, the baby boomers, and the greatest generation. My kids will be the come get some generation. C’mon, baby, lets get drunk and be somebody.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Nightmare said...

Amen Brother! I think we should set up some sort of stud service for women who don't want to raise a bunch of fey ass clowns who only want to play video games.

And another thing we need to make sure that there is a lack of Air Conditioning in the houses when the little shits are growing up. Bunch of fucking pussies sitting around INSIDE not getting hot and sweaty. When we wee fucking kids the only A/C was in the frozen foods section at the fucking Safeway.

3:10 PM  
Anonymous lenore said...

kiss me, darlin' -- and start picking out names.

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

greg get ahold if me this is gooch long time no see

4:53 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

No nintendo! Does that include playstation cause if it does it's you and me WWE Wrestling style. Death VS Raven. Pay Per View Monday Night. Just Kidding Big Guy. It's true so true. We need more tough rough necks in the world. Pussiefication only makes us weaker and lazier. What ever happen to the old school hard core get outside and play dodge ball life...Nevertheless thier are alot of tough kids in the world like the one's who snowboard off the track or the one's who tackle moutains raceing thier bikes down them like joe's son he just can't seem to let not winning go, he keeps on trying even after he's had over 20 wrecks. Don't worry to much big guy thier are still alot of us tough sweet gentalmen rough necks left in the world...Evermore

5:32 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...


Ya goddamn right!

Fuck the 10 Commandments.

Carve this shit in stone and hang it in every school and courthouse in the land.

nightmare - can't get behind the whole "no air conditioning" thing tho. Fuck that. But I do remember growing up when local businesses had signs on their doors advertising that they had air conditioning.

Had a picture of a penguin dripping icecicles. Walking into one of those places was like passing through the Pearly Fucking Gates. You were in Heaven!

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg! i think the box w/ daddy in it moved to the other corner......on its own! if this shit aint "willie b speaks from the box" kinda thing....

-- so says the sister

9:44 PM  
Blogger HateTaxes said...

So damn true. Get out side and scrape some skin off your body and be proud and show it off. Get dirty and have fun.
Be polite to all but do not take shit from anyone.
Pick your fights by the content of the reason, not if you think you can win or lose.

12:27 PM  
Blogger SmedRock said...

Holy shit! You hit this right on the head. I just had this talk with my nephews (7 and 5 years old), due to that sperm donor of a father, I have kinda taken up the Dad role for them. I agree 100% with this post. Men in this country have been forced, out of sheer respect for the finer of the spieces mind you, to lose some of our swagger. And that my friend is a damn shame. Awsome post.

Keep up the good fight my brother!

7:48 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

*raising hand*
pick me... pick me

5:26 PM  

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