small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: just checking the mail

Wednesday, July 19

just checking the mail

Damn my outlook on things has changed since getting broke into on Friday. I couldn’t make it to work today due to a really fucked up case of insomnia so I’m here at home blasting thru these odd periods of deep sleep. I just woke up and came into the dining room to check if I had any mail or phone messages when I heard this loud scraping coming from outside my front door.

I tipped up to the front door and the noise was coming from out in the small foyer to my building. I thought about it then slid back the bolts on my new metal door and threw it open. I found myself looking at the back of some cat in work clothes bent over the lock of the front door to the building.

He must’a sensed me cause he did this real slow turn around to face me as he explained that he was changing out the lock in the main door for one where the keys couldn’t be duplicated. I gotta admit he was real cool and calm considering that I was standing there buck assed nekked with a gun in my hand.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger LL said...

You were armed and nekkid?

Oh my.

2:33 PM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...

I hope you at least offered up a roll of ass-wipe.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...


You had time to grab the gun but you didn't have time to pull on some "tighty whiteys" or sumthin'?

Or did you make a calculated decision to "go commando" as an extra intimidating factor for "Citizen Beck; On Patrol!"?

6:56 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

That would get my attention.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NEVER EVER tell your mother that!
-- so begs the sister

9:24 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Bad boys ! Bad Boys! what you gonna do "The guy turns around slowly" Holy Shit it's King Dingaling. What you gonna do when they come for you. "Now, back up. Put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious and some skittles" . I don't think I want to place that image in my head. Now are you sure he was looking at the gun when he turned around. LOL just trying to lighten the mood......Get some rest big guy...Evermore

12:10 AM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I generally use that tactic when the Jehovah witnesses come a knocking. They tend to only come around once, twice if they liked it.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

He is probably used to that! LOL

Can we see a picture of the gun? The weapon gun, not the one that is for fun. *curses drill sergeants for putting that in his head*

11:41 AM  

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