small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: small talk fu

Wednesday, July 5

small talk fu

Just a few short notes from my side of the fuckin fence. Yesterday I decided to go back to shaving my head and went off in search of new shaving gear and I got myself one of those new pulse shavers. You know the multi-bladed shaver with the gentle micro pulses, yeah one of those. After getting home I opened the package up and after installing the battery I turned the muthafucker on.

Upon close observation it seems to me that instead of using the term “gentle micro pulses” the manufacture should stop frontin and just call it for what it is, a razor with a built in vibrator. No wonder the chick at the store said she loved it so much; all the muthafucker’s missing is three speeds. But after shaving with it this morning it seemed to work fairly well but the vibrating on the head was just odd. Not unpleasant, just odd.

And you remember the fucked up retarded kid from your old block? The one who wore the football helmet all the time because whenever he felt ignored he had this fucked up habit of grabbing himself by the back of the head and smacking his face into the garage door until people paid attention to him?

Well the football helmet wearing retard grew up and became North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. What a crazy fucked up loony tunes bastard. You know you’ve become captain of your own good ship lollypop when China’s telling your crazy cocksucker ass to calm the fuck down and shut up.

This rat bastard apparently thought what the fuck, let’s test fire all our shit into the fuckin Sea of Japan. Fuck the fuckin round eye Americans and everybody else in the fuckin world. North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il having nuclear arms is akin to giving free fireworks to the trailer park. Muthafucker’s will either kill themselves or every fucking swinging dick in sight.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous RD said...

What a hoot! I wondered what happened to old Eugene. Imagine that, running his own country. The last time I saw him, he had sneezed and had a two foot line of snot hanging out of his nose. Read today that China stopped shipping food by train into NK cause they weren't returning the trains - HA! Might as well piss everyone off.

2:01 PM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I got a question...where do you get your daily alotment of Jim Beam now that they have fucked up the "cane"?

7:34 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I mitght have to try that shaver. A Mach 3 seems to be the only thing that works for me. I tried the two bladed head shaver and looked like I shaved my head with a hack saw.

The Chinese want that bastard Jong dead and I say let them kill him.

11:46 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home