small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, July 14

sweatin the small stuff


You know what’s fucked up, when on the way to work you have a taste for a fuckin Sausage McMuffin and every cocksuckin McDonalds in the fuckin city is having issues with their stupid credit card machines. So because of that I’m putting up an old post from some time back.
I present; "The happy Negro"

You know what’s pissing me the fuck off? McDonald’s new advertising campaign with the sucky hip-hop theme. McDonald’s is worse then an inner-city liquor store the way they push the dancing Negro and shit. For years it’s been the same old assed shit, you turn on the stinkin TV and soon enough a McDonald’s commercial comes on advertising their fuckin big Macs. Suddenly the screen is filled with happy nimble dancing and singing Negroes.

What?

Are happy Negroes the only demographic that eats this shit? This is like some old step and fetch it from back in the day. In thru the door of McDonald’s walks the happy Negro who steps up to the fuckin counter and with a huge toothy grin starts looking up at the menu. Behind the counter waiting with an equally large grin is the happy Negro running the counter,
“hi cans I help you, my happy Negro brother”?
“Well, I be starving like a muthafucker and shit so how abouts layin on me one of those juicy delicious Big Macs, and a cold refreshing Coca Cola, my happy Negro sister”
Whilst all this is going on, in the background can be heard Old dirty Bastard singing the McDonald’s theme song to a catchy hip-hop beat. Suddenly thru the door come fifteen more happy Negro’s, dancing and doing summersaults and break dancing and shit, cause being at McDonald’s has uplifted their normally depressed spirits.

And to farther prove that McDonald’s is the place for the happy Negro to go eat, all the happy Negro’s behind the counter suddenly rip off their smocks to reveal choir robes. And they start singing the muthafuckin Hallelujah Chorus and swinging to and fuckin fro as the manager stomps out to reveal that under his uniform he’s really fuckin Ronald McDonald.

Who then moonwalks out the fuckin door and starts passing out cheeseburger’s and fries to all the happy Negro children who just happen to be hanging outside the fuckin building which instead on being on a busy street is now in the middle of a scenic woodlands scene with little furry animals running underfoot and shit. Goddamn I hate this happy Negro bullshit!!!!


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

2 Comments:

Blogger Walker said...

Maybe it sells.

Maybe it sells to white people.

Maybe we white folks think McDonalds is cool because of that commercial.

Although speaking as a thoroughly white person, I've never seen the commercial and, athough I like choir robes, not even black people dancing in them could get me to eat at McDonalds.

10:43 AM  
Anonymous monkeyhawk said...

I've long suspected Ronald McDonald and Michael Jackson are each other's evil twin.

I think it's the white-face.

12:38 PM  

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