something just upped and bit me

Like the old saying goes, “when you fuck with the bull you get the horns. Love the stinkin animals all you want but if it has more or sharper teeth then you, claws or horns and barbs, common sense say’s you just might want to leave that muthafucker to it’s own devices.

• A tiger killed the fuck out’a one stupid muthafucker and bit the asshole out of another one at the Calcutta zoo in India after these dumbasses attempted to put flowers around the tiger’s neck in a New Year’s greeting.

• A seven-year-old white tiger attacked Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy during a Friday night performance on the Las Vegas strip some time ago and chewed on his old gay ass for awhile.

• Two years ago activist Timothy Treadwell was fuckin around with some of his grizzly buddies when one of em put the equation together that stupid hippie equals food. Of course Tim is ok with things since after being shit out all over the fuckin woods, he feels that he gave a small part of himself back to nature.

• Australian "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin swam with the fishes one time too many. Which I have to say is a kinder way to die then getting ate the fuck up and shit out of the ass end of a fuckin crocodile.

• Any old lady over the years who has died in her house and got gnawed on by her fifty or so cats. Yeah they love your old wrinkled ass until the Kibbles & Bits run out then you’re just another free meal to them.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"