sweatin the small stuff

I found myself walking through this sunlit outdoor bazaar, and as I’m walking these two women came up on me and asked me if I want to join em for a drink. I’m no fool so I agreed and off we went to this sidewalk café. Damn these chicks were fine, I won’t swear to it but I think they might’ of been twins.

The one chick had this huge “old school” Angela Davis Afro and she was wearing this bright pink furry halter top, with the matching hot paints I might add. The other one was bald with this great rack so I didn’t catch what she was wearing. So the three of us sat there sipping on our drinks and doing the small talk thing and the next thing I knew the café scene morphed into a bedroom.

So now I’m lying on this huge heart shaped revolving bed along with the two butt nekked girls and dig this! At the far end of the room was Barry White and what’s his name, you know, the lead singer cat from the Doobie Brothers. They’re giving me the thumbs up as they start commencing to sing for our enjoyment.

I start doing the dance of the horny simians with these two chicks and suddenly there I am. I’m in this weird Kung Fu, Kama Sutra reach around position with one of em when I start to cramp up.

That’s when I’m rudely awakened and realize I’m in my bed laying on my back with both legs straight up in the air and the pain is coming on and that it was all a dream.

Apparently in my “sleep” I was going through the fuckin motions and in the act of trying to put my large frame into a pretzel I cramped up my thighs something bad. I’m lying on my back trying to undo my legs and trying not to scream from the pain and at the same time I’m hoping that no sees me like this.

It’s times like this that I’m glad my cat was long gone cause that would be just embarrassing, you know, for him to catch me helpless like that. But it was a good dream while it lasted.



"and the monkey flipped the switch"