a very special mid-week edition of sweatin the small stuff
You know the commercial where the owner of what looks to be a construction company is sitting at his desk bitching and moaning about owing the IRS thousands and thousands of dollars in back taxes?
He’s crying like a whipped pussy until he spots a post-it note with a phone number on it. “My account says I should call this number” or some such shit cause it’s a number to a law firm who’ll help him with his back taxes and IRS issues. You all seen this commercial?
Yeah, and does it bother you like it does me? Every time I see this muthafucker I’m always wondering how come this broke bastard isn’t doing the bum’s rush on his “accountant” and slapping the cock taste out of his mouth for getting him in trouble with the fuckin IRS in the first place.
Then there’s the commercial where the stern looking father is sitting on the front porch with his son who looks to be on leave from the military. It’s a scenic family setting with the two men hanging out on the porch after dinner having coffee whilst thru the lit window you can see the women folk bustling around. Oh yeah, and it’s raining like a muthafucker.
The father is talking to the son how when he picked him up at the train station the son did a couple of things that he’s never done at the same time before. “You shook my hand and looked me in the eye, where that come from?” The son just stares at the father.
Now picture the father saying the same line and as soon as he utters “where that come from”, the kid punches the old man in the fuckin throat screaming. “This fuckin man’s Army you bitch! I had drill instructors who dry fucked guys in the ass tougher then you!
Where’s that fuckin bike I always wanted for Christmas and when you get done spitting up yer goddamned lungs you better be all about showing me that farm you told me you sent Sparkles to you old fuck or I’ll show you some more of that bad-ass hoo-rah shit they taught me!”
And lastly, the movie Armageddon bothers me. Now I loved the fuckin movie even though it had Matt Dillions lover in it. You know, ole what's his name. Anyway here’s a fuckin movie showing America basically saving the world from destruction by using American know how and state of the art technology.
So how come is it that in every fuckin scene showing the American public, it looked like the clock had swung backwards to the fuckin 1950’s? That was just some gay assed shit and it really bothered me.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"