small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: from the archives.........sweatin the small stuff

Friday, October 6

from the archives.........sweatin the small stuff


ACCIDENTAL TERRORIST

So there I am, walking to the bus stop. It’s around six thirty in the morning and the birds are chirping and the bees are buzzing and I can still smell the scent of fresh cut grass from last night in the air. I’d figure to make it to work early cause I had things to do you know?

Well, I’m just bumping along and not really paying attention to anything when I decide to cross the street. Normally I stay aware of my surroundings but this morning I was real unfocused and not really looking at anything.

As I’m crossing the street I look up in time to see this little girl in my path. She’s small and thin, all bony knees and elbows and maybe ten years old. On her back sits a bright pink backpack and she’s clutching a Power Puff Girls lunch box.

“She’s up early for school I thought”

As I get closer she must’a been in a fog also, cause just then did she look up and see me coming. Her little body tensed up and she reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights. Except that deer’s don’t squeal.

That little girl let out the oddest squeal and took off running. I looked around to see what was scaring her when I realized it was me. She was running for her life from me! I felt like crap. I wanted to catch her and tell her I was one of the good guys, but that would’a looked stupid.

She ran for about a block then she stopped, yeah stopped right in front of my bus stop. Damn my bad luck. Not only did I accidentally scare a little girl into puberty, but she ran to the only bus stop around for three blocks to take refuge. It goes without sayin that I took a different bus this morning. I hope I didn’t leave a lasting impression on her.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

6 Comments:

Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

That is a rough way to start a day.

Maybe she will be dressed in black in a few years from now trying to act tough and cocky.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

I'm not a small man. 6'2", around 200 lbs. People tell me I look intimidating. Plus, I wear sunglasses which prohibit eye contact and my general facial expression, posture and demeanor just scream "I am NOT a People Person. Don't even THINK of fucking with me or asking me for money!"

But if I just glanced up out of a fog and saw Greg coming at me; yeah, I'd squeal like a 10 year old girl and take off running too.

He does the "intimidating look" thing WAY better than me.

Plus, he can back his "look" up, whereas I'm just a big pussy.

7:19 PM  
Anonymous MarieP said...

First thing to come to mind was: Here kitty, kitty. Thanks XO ! I know I can count on you for a chuckle or two.

Every time I go to the Record Bar I look for you Greg. So be forwarned, one day when you are there & some gray haired woman ( I'll be 50 in January)comes up & asks you if your Death. It could be me. I won't run, but I will buy you a drink, may even give you a hug if I can't control myself. Thanks for being part of my day.

By the way, Bob Walkenhorst played there tonight from 7-9pm. That's a good time slot for those of us who are a bit more mature aroung the temples.
Pewace,
MarieP

10:08 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

Awww. You are too adorable.

It happened to me one time. I adore dogs but I was walking late at night and there was this completely innocuous short guy walking two big dogs. He was trying to be casual when he clapped his hands and let them run. But they ran right at me and I almost fainted. He was horribly apologetic and, of course, the dogs weren't interested in me at all!

10:38 AM  
Blogger Bella said...

Wow. That's pretty nice of you to take another bus instead of scaring her again.

However, the bitch in me woulda went up behind her and screamed BOOOO! ;)

3:35 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

Bella - I actually laughed out loud. I used to dream about doing the same thing when I was young. I was a long-haired hippy, waiting to cross the street and I could see/hear the locks on peoples doors closing because they thought I was some sort of threat. Made me want to run up and just start banging on their windows and screaming goonbabble just to justify their world view.

Glad I never did.

7:26 PM  

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