sweatin the small stuff
From the “Tony sez” department……..
What’s the term people are always using when something drastic or life affirming happens to a muthafucker? Watershed moment….wake up call…….what the fuck do they call it? Goddammit, where’s my fuckin brain at today……whatever, it’s that thing where something so fucked up happens to you that all you can think of is that whatever you’re doing wrong you need to stop?
Well check this out. According to my many inside sources who telexed this to me last night. Some chick in the Croatian city of Zader had just gotten out of the shower and was proceeding to brush her teeth and shit when she was knocked the fuck out by a bolt of lightning.
Ok, I know what some of you must be thinking. But Greg, we’re hearing all the time about muthafuckers getting knocked the fuck out after being stuck by lightning, so what’s the big deal?
Well if you shut the fuck up I’ll tell you. According to my many inside sources, the Croatian chick was brushing her teeth whilst outside there was this storm going on. So after brushing her teeth she bent over the sink to put her mouth under the spigot to rinse. At the same time that was going on, lightning hit her building, traveled down the water pipe and struck her in the mouth.
And if a muthafucker remembers their schooling and shit, you know that when lightning hits something it either grounds itself out or passes through.
Did I say that right?
Anyway, she’s bent over the sink rinsing her mouth out while at the same time her equally bent over ass is touching the wet shower certain directly behind her.
And instead of grounding out thru her feet like a muthafucker would think and perhaps killing her, because she was wearing rubber bath shoes the lightning grounded out on the wet shower curtain behind her.
So let’s follow the bouncing ball shall we.
1. Lightning hits the building.
2. Lightning travels down the water pipes.
3. Croatian chick is rinsing her mouth out under the spigot.
4. Lightning exits the spigot and hits the Croatian chick in the mouth.
5. Lightning enters the Croatian chick’s body.
6. Lightning can’t exit thru her feet due to Croatian chick wearing rubber shoes.
7. The lightning exits the only place it can, into the wet shower curtain.
And how does the lightning exit into the wet shower curtain enquiring boys and girls want to know? Well get ready to be fuckin amazed cause according to my many inside sources, the lightning came out the lady’s backside.
Yup, thru the ole back door, past the chocolate starfish. Thru the pucker hole if you please. You might even say that it came out her anus, betwixt yon round ass cheeks, or depending on your orientation the area just north or south of the taint, or even her asshole if you must insist. Either way I bet somebody won’t be fuckin for a while.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"