small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, December 1

sweatin the small stuff

A girl with a bush in Hollywood must be harder to find than a hairless spot on Robin Williams' back
This great quote is from my pal Brynne who was talking about the newest fad in Hollywood which seems to be showing off the meat wallet in public. And can I just say how fuckin odd I find this kind of behavior in Hollywood.

I mean really, I don’t know how it is where you cats live but around these here parts if the girls next door acted like Lindsey Lohan or Brittany or Paris, we’d simply call em whores. But when it happens in Hollywood it’s called extravagant behavior.

Just in a short time we’ve seen Brittany’s hairless cock socket, Lindsey’s hairless little plum sucker, and Paris’s nasty hairless little lint grabber. And don’t get me wrong because I like looking at the pussy as much as the next guy but not every woman needs to be showing her shit to the whole world. And I think you know what I be saying when I say that not every women needs to be shaved cause it ain’t all porn pussy. I’m just sayin.

It’s like if I had a publicist and she told me that I could keep my face in the public eye by showing off my balls. First off you don’t need to see my balls; as a matter of fact I try as much as possible not to look at my balls. So to think that I would strategically position my balls to fall out in front of a bunch of muthafuckers with cameras is crazy. Think of the children for god’s sake.

So with that being said let’s move on to young Hollywood’s current theme of not wearing panties. I’ve never lived in Hollywood but I’ve lived with strippers over the years and I gotta say that these chicks weren’t real hot with the wearing of the panties. But considering what they did for a living panties could be considered an occupational hazard.

Not the case with these whores up in Hollywood. Especially Brittney who just popped out a baby, is that right? Fuck if I was a club owner and these bitches were sitting on my couches, I’d have the bouncers make em get off. Anyway I wish they would stop whatever the fuck it is they think they’re trying to accomplish.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Miss Ann Thrope said...

there's not enough lysol in this world to induce me to sit in the same chair one of those bitches sat in.

There's sexy and then there's 'trying to be.'

Sexy is a state of mind, it's not crotch shots. I don't think these scags will ever get it.

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Joshua Xalpharis said...

I'm tired of seeing their faces, let alone their spooge-pockets.

I'll take the bad karma to have their deaths come directly from my desire to see it done.

I'm sure most people would.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

You know you'd tap it.

So would Josh.

So would I.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Brain Bomb said...

"And I think you know what I be saying when I say that not every women needs to be shaved cause it ain’t all porn pussy."

You're a mind reader, Greg. Some of those pictures made me squint and tilt my head like a confused hound.

That shit is just unhygenic. Sitting your choch on all kinds of surfaces, picking up and depositing, WTF!

9:26 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

This all made me think of something I heard at work the other day-
spoken by a 91 year old woman-
"you're tearin my poontang UP!"

I dunno. Unfortunately, with what I do for a living, I see more coot than anyone really needs (or wants) to see. I can tell you stories that'll make you puke. Hell, they can make me puke, and I been doing this for 10+ years. Like one of my teachers said.. 'nothing worse than doing your OBGYN rotation in the middle of July'. Yeah.. ew.

Having no panties on is sexy when you're in some super-fancy restaurant in a killer dress and you lean over and whisper in your date's ear just before he dives into his dinner that you haven't got them on. (Know how to do the Heimlich before you do this.)

With all their money and all their fame, all of those girls (Paris, Lindsay, Britney, etc) are nothin but high dollar white trash. I'm sayin it because it's the truth.

9:14 PM  
Blogger CapricornCringe said...

Thanks for not wanting to show us your balls. We appreciate that more than you know :)

11:46 PM  

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