small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, January 5

sweatin the small stuff

From the “word of the day” department………….

Comes a startling breakthrough. Amongst my small inner circle of friends we have decided that the English language can do without certain words. And without getting into the schematics and beatdowns and shit, we’ve decided that for starters the word “moist” is out.

We can’t think of any acceptable reason for a grown ass person to use the word moist in a sentence. And along with moist we’re seriously debating over the word “cuddle”. Now see as far as I’m concerned I find the word cuddle more then acceptable to use in every day conversation because you know, that’s how I roll.

But as always I seem to be in the minority over the usage of this word. But the debate rages on and in the foreseeable future I can tell you that we’re in serious talks to eliminate the words “bro” and “marmalade” from the English language as well. This website will keep you updated on any changes.

And from the “common sense beats stupid every day” department…………

Comes a story that has touched me on a personal level if for nothing else I detest the fuckin stupid offspring of a lot of people. Some time ago Frank Graham the younger son and would be successor (hah) to Billy Graham, come up with the stupid idea that when Billy passed, he would be buried at the proposed Billy Graham memorial library in North Carolina.

Now the reason this fucked with me is that even though I make a hobby out of bad mouthing most evangelist due to me finding them to be for the most part, greedy self serving fucks. I’ve never had a problem with Billy Graham cause to me he’s like a Paul Harvey, one of those iconic muthafuckers that you don’t mess with.

So when I found out that Frank Graham (hah) wanted to bury Billy at the library instead of the mountain retreat where Billy’s wife Ruth wanted them both laid to rest, it kind’a fucked with me. Especially when Ruth's long-time friend, the crime writer Patricia Cornwell, told Ruth Graham that the largely bookless "library" is "truly tacky," featuring for example a mechanical cow that greets visitors amongst other crappy shit like straw covered floors.

Frank Graham’s (hah) thinking is that the memorial would draw a new generation of worshipers and donors, including kids who would be attracted by the really lame and stupid farm motif. Which if a muthafucker was to ask me kind’a shows where this cat’s mind is at if he thinks instead of the word of god that fuckin farm animals and shit would make a difference and gain more followers?

But anyway, this has caused a huge rift in the Graham family with Frank Graham (hah) on one side and his mother on the other and Billy stuck in the middle. I just hope that in this argument the parents win out over the stupid greedy kid and instead of turning their legacy into a clown show that they get the respect that they both deserve.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger PGP said...

My eye's are "Moist".... ;)

12:58 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Well, evangelist tend to make a joke out of religion so why not death.

I can't agree with you on moist Greg. I like the word. Now as for marmalade, who the hell drinks that stuff any way? I imagine old ladies, especially in the south, having marmalade. So when they all die maybe the word can be retired.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Happy In Bag said...

It sure is moist out today, bro. Let's stay in and cuddle. We'll have marmalade toast later.

4:21 PM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

MMMMM, babe, I love cuddling with you and fingering your moist pussy while dipping my finger in the marmalade jar. LICCCKKKK.

And don't worry. Patricia will win this battle for Billy. He deserves better. The drugs of Frank's yut done fucked up his thinking.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

I respect Billy Graham because I think he is a True Believer.

I disagree with him. I don't share his belief. But I respect his sincerity.

As opposed to people like James Dobson, James Kennedy, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Franklin Graham and all the others who figure "Here's a way I can manipulate policy, live like a king, rake in the cash and still spin myself as a humble man of God."

Punk-ass bitches.

7:43 PM  

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