small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Rob Clemens

Monday, February 12

Rob Clemens

Since I know that some of you who used to live here check this blog as well as other local KC blogs as a way of hearing what’s going on back here at home. I want to pass on to those of you that knew him that Rob Clemens passed this weekend.

Some of you knew him simply as Rob the bartender. I’ve known Rob since the early eighties and he’s been a midtown mainstay for years either bartending at Davey’s Uptown or Benders which was the bar he co-owned for a while.

Rob was one of the good guy’s and he never heard a band or musician he didn’t like or meet anyone he didn’t call friend. I found this old post from some years where I mention Rob, so I’ll put it up.

So I’m sitting in the bar at the Hurricane next to my old friend Rob. Besides staying friends over the years Rob and I share a unique history. We were once fucked over by the same chick who turned out to be this slut of epic proportions.

Such a slut, since the double screwing she’s found God in a hard way and shows up once a year to pray over the both of us. No sex just prayer, go figure. Rob also is one of the few people other then myself that enjoys Old Crow.

People tend to mock this fine cocktail, but I gotta tell ya, once you get over the gag reflex it goes down so smooth. So like I was saying we’re hanging at the bar being thoroughly entertained by the lovely Angela and coughing down Old Crows when this cat walks up and asks if he can join us.

Or rather he asked Rob because I refused to make eye contact. You know that Rob has been down the same bad roads as I have, and together or apart we’re not the kind to attract strangers for casual conversation and such so I decided to let Rob handle this one.

First thing the cat did was ask us what we were drinking. Rob was kind enough to tell him so he ordered a round plus the same for himself. I admit it was funny watching him drink Old Crow for the first time. He almost didn’t spit it up.

Well, after getting his breath back he got to the point. He wanted us to show him how to be a man. I hastily wanted to know exactly what he meant, cause if this was a gay thing I was gonna suggest he try up the street.

But no such luck, he was having womanly evils and he blamed it on not being masculine enough. He ran down the saddest, most ass-aching story I’ve ever heard. This was a miserable muthafucker.

Rob being the good guy that he is really wanted to help the cat while I strongly suggested that he go out and rent every John Wayne and Shaft video he could find and take his cue from them.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous tec said...

Rob sought me out to give me my first bartending job (at Benders), let me treat his bar like my own personal liquor cabinet (at 4 am and when I no longer worked for him, no less), offered to work over people that pissed me off, routinely bested me at Wheel of Fortune (no small feat - I'm pretty good), and was the only person to ever successfully put me in a cab when I had no business driving. I have an unreasonable love for that man and I miss him already. I am glad however that his pain and struggles are over.

5:23 PM  

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