small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: blast from the past....

Wednesday, March 28

blast from the past....

Just a few short musings before my day kicks in and I go looking for a bell tower to climb. On the way home on the bus yesterday I noticed a possum on the side of the road.

I’m looking at it thinking, “oh look, a dead possum on the side of the road”. It was kind’a propped up against this construction wall that faced a really busy street.

All of a sudden it snapped its eyes open and I couldn’t help but notice that it had this really freaked out look on its face. (If you could imagine a possum having a freaked out look)

It actually looked like it was hyperventilating and shit and it’s little black beady possum eyes were just darting every which way. Now I’m thinking yeah if I was a fuckin possum sitting against a wall on a busy street I’d be freaking out too. Hell, it’s not like possums are known for their acute traffic sense and shit.

But as the bus turned the corner one of those giant street sweepers came into view. I’m looking at the street sweeper and picturing the path it followed, then I looked back to where the possum laid freaking out against the construction wall.

Damn that muthafucker had to pass right over the fuckin possum, no wonder that muthafucker looks all freaked out and shit.

And just thinking and shit, I’m always amazed at what people talk to me about. It’s a given that if you’re a lonely drunk in a bar, you have to come over and tell me your fuckin life story.

But lately and I would love to see how I look to other people, but folks have been rolling up on me in the oddest places to ask me questions, anything from government issues to sexual advice to crop circles.

And I’m not sure how I feel about that, because these people are serious as a muthafucker when they ask me shit. Like my answer will set them free and light the way to karmic salvation.

Fuck, when I look at myself in the mirror I don’t want to ask me a fuckin thing. Have I reached that point and stature where I’ve turned into the elder wise man? Are there muthafucker’s walking the earth seeking the answers to life that are being told to travel to Kansas City and seek out the old fat black cat in Midtown?

It’s like one night in the Hurricane this hot young chick ran up on me and I swear to god this is what came out of her mouth. “Are you the one called Death? I heard you’re wise and can help me”.

And then there’s the cat that wanted me to tell him how to become a man. Now that one was easy, I told him to go out and rent every movie he could find featuring John Wayne and Samuel Jackson and do what they do.

But I’m telling you, do I really need that kind of pressure? Do I want to be the wizened one that people seek out?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

I always ask you stuff because I think you're like one of the top 3 smartest people I know.

I don't think you're wizened, though. Wizened means kind of pruney looking, doesn't it?

But it seems that the general consensus is that I ask *too* many questions, because a lot of the time the only answer I get is: "How the fuck should I know?"

It doesn't stop me from asking, though.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Greg Beck said...

just part of me fits that discription.

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the VISUALS i'm getting w/ THAT one!! i'mma start telling people to come find you when they wanna kow shit. you'll come home one day and there'll be a circle of 'em sitting out front of your apt bldg hummin and scratchin just waiting on ya. when they see you, they'll rise up and follow your car around back and when you climb outta your car, they'll fall to their knees, bowing to you and chanting "O GREAT ONE DR. DEATH. PLEASE SHOW US THE WAY".
the visuals...the visuals...

-so sees the sister......

12:06 PM  
Blogger PGP said...

You are like the Dude!
In fact I believe you are a righteous Dude. And as we all know "The Dude doth' Abide!"

12:45 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

I can promise you that no part of you would fit that description if I were there.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Oh great.....Next hell be saying Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?. While I'm at why not.

Hey whats the meaning of life better yet here are 12 things Yoda says in the bedroom. Bet you did not know that. Hmmm.....Evermore

"Ahhh! Yoda's little friend you seek!"
"Urm. Put a shield on my saber I must."
"Feel the force!"
"Foreplay, cuddling - a Jedi craves not these things."
"Down here, I am. Find a ladder, I must!"
"Do me or do me not - there is no try."
"Early must I rise. Leave now you must!"
"You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's hand up my....."
"Happens to every guy sometimes this does."
"When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?"
"Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"

"Sleep in the wet spot I won't"

11:27 PM  

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