small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Elton John turns 60

Monday, March 26

Elton John turns 60


I see that Elton John celebrated his sixtieth birthday by putting on a show at Madison Square Garden. Elton’s one of those guys I have mixed emotions about due to me having issues with him being such a mincing fey bastard.

I loved his music when I was younger and spent many a night playing air drums and rocking out to his shit. But I was just so disappointed when I found out he was gay, and then to watch him turn into the queen of the world was just odd.

Now before you go all hatin and shit, Elton can be as gay as he wants to be cause that’s his right. I’m just saying that when you’re a young kid dancing in front of the mirror blasting “The Bitch is back” wearing nothing but your undies thinking how tough you look.

You’re thinking; man that Elton John is one cool assed muthafucker. He uses the word bitch in his songs so I bet he's as tough as they come. We should hang together and I'll show him my hood.

You got a bottle of hand lotion pretending it’s a microphone and doing your best rooster dance singing. “I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch. Oh the bitch is back. Stone cold sober as a matter of fact. I can bitch, I can bitch. Cause I'm better than you”.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

3 Comments:

Blogger curmudgeon said...

Every time I hear one of his songs nowdays, I think. "Ugh. He's really singing to a guy." But then it calms me a bit to think that Bernie Taupin actually writes the songs, so I feel a bit of comfort knowing they were written as a serenade for women from a manly man's perspective.

2:16 PM  
Blogger PGP said...

I prefer not to think about it!

6:43 PM  
Blogger The Northlander said...

Ewww.

Old balls.

6:12 PM  

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