sweatin the small stuff

From the “but for the forest could I see the trees” department……………

Comes a tale about all that snappy government training you always hear about. The other day a massive training exercise called “Operation Vigilant Sentry” took place over in south Florida.

The training was the put on by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and is a plan to halt a possible mass migration from the Caribbean of illegal Cuban migrants. The training exercise involved hundreds of agents from eighty-five different local, federal and state law enforcement agencies.

Well I guess that ole Johnny Law wasn’t too vigilant because while all these cops were running around snatching up imaginary Cuban migrants and shit, two boatloads of these muthafuckers actually landed on beaches in Miami.

One boatload of Cubans were dropped off of all places a nudist beach where according to my many inside sources, they promptly got buck assed nekked trying to blend in. Another group who were rather disappointed were dropped off at another beach a few hours later.

All together almost forty muthafuckers were able to slip past the law-boys of “Operation Vigilant Sentry” and both now empty boats escaped back out to sea.

According to my many inside sources, the Border Patrol is under the belief that what happened was the result of organized smuggling. And when asked what the fuck happened and aren’t you embarrassed to have missed all these muthafuckers?

The Border Patrol said “fuck no; we’re not embarrassed at all. It's not uncommon for the stinkin Cubans to pull shit like that, fuck they do it all the time.

Plus we had an exercise to run. You might have heard of a little thing called “Operation Vigilant Sentry? So we were a little bit preoccupied and shit if you wanna know the fuckin truth."

But on the straight tip the training scenario envisioned a mass exodus of Cubans fleeing violence after their government fell, with Florida boaters headed south to pick up relatives and a deadly virus spreading among 2,000 migrants intercepted at sea.

The shit had been planned for a long time but with Cuban President Fidel Castro fuckin dying on an almost daily basis it seems, the exercise took on a new urgency. Not withstanding all the real muthafuckers they missed. I’m just saying.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"