convenient my ass
It’s bad enough going to one of the local Quik-Trip convenient stores just to buy something like cigarettes and shit.
Because when it comes time to pull out, you’re forced to run the crazy gauntlet of assholes. Here’s how it usually works.
First you have to deal with the insanely chipper muthafuckers working behind the goddamned counter.
After you finish up with these rocket scientists you try to wind your way to the door past all the mouth breathers that insist on blocking you as you attempt to leave.
Then of course there’s ole slack jaw by the payphone waiting to make eye contact so he can start working you up for your change.
And don’t even begin to get me started on these rude insensitive cocksuckers who think that handicapped parking is specially made just for them.
If you park in the handicapped spot and you’re not disabled? Then you deserve a baseball bat to the fuckin shins.
Finally you make it to the relative safety of your car but now come’s the really hard part. Which is trying to get out of the fuckin parking lot without too much drama?
Cause sure as shit, as soon as you take your car out of park some numb nut muthafucker appears out of nowhere in your rearview mirror. Either on foot acting like it’s your fault your fuckin car’s in their goddamned way, or some dick trying some new and inventive way trying to get to the gas pumps.
I’m always amazed and so impressed that with the volatile mixture of assholes, cars and gas that muthafuckers just don’t go up in fuckin flames by the shittin thousands on a daily basis.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"