small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: from the archives....penis of knowledge

Wednesday, April 25

from the archives....penis of knowledge

I think I’m going to start letting muthafuckers enjoy some of the ejaculate from the penis of knowledge.

But just a little at a time cause there nothing like a full load in the face to kill the buzz. Which I wouldn’t know anything about, I just heard and shit.

Anyway, I’m always hearing the younger cats bragging shit up about how they would like to either sleep with more then one woman at the same time or that they have.

I’m gonna have to call bullshit on this little exercise in futility cause shit ain’t like it is in the movies.

Sleeping with two women or as they say in the hood, fuckin two women at the same time is just goddamned hard. Hard I tell you.

Back in the day I had the opportunity to have a go at my Penthouse moment and I’ll never do it again.

Now I will admit that it was a lot harder since the two women were of the heterosexual persuasion so there was no pitter patter shit going on betwixt the two of em, which meant that all the grunt work was left up to me.

You know how when you go to the gym to work out maybe for the first time, and you decide to get your ass up on the treadmill?

But once on you realize that after a few minutes you just wanted the muthafucker to stop so you could get off and go take a nap but you couldn’t because there were hot chicks watching you and you had to stay on and fake looking all studly and shit?

Well that’s how it was trying to have sex with two women. I just wanted to stop the ride and get the fuck off.

Also whilst you’re busy doing the act that hath no name with one chick and trying to be the cool sexy beast that you see in the mirror every morning. The other chick is either keeping herself busy or more realistically staring at you wondering what the fuck she got herself talked into.

Because no matter what you may think, you do not look cool when fuckin. You’re making faces like a retard chasing the ice cream truck and breathing hard and it’s not that pretty.

So instead of having joyous movie sex, you find yourself under the other chick’s microscope who starts giving you a ration of shit.

“I sure hope you don’t plan on slapping my ass like that cause after I get done kicking your ass, I’m nine-one-oneing somebody”.

Dude, is that “all” the dick you got? I think the kid down the street has more game then that. Maybe you need to hit the showers and I’ll give his young ass a call”

I’m just sayin that besides it being too much work, it ain’t worth all the grief from the gallery. Now days I’m just happy to be in the same room with it.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Doom said...

Well, I will say, it's nice to not be alone on a topic. I've never tried, but I have had two gf's at the same time, lovers both and they both knew, I'm straight in more ways than one. That wasn't any better. After that, I didn't even consider two women at once. I was starting to question, from common parley, whether my mechanism was weak or something. Thanks for the reality check.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous The brother said...

Yeah, Been there,done that many years ago,got the still broken ego to proove it.

3:15 PM  
Blogger Well Hell Michelle said...


3:42 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

It's a whole lot easier when it's a girl and two guys.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

It's not worth it unless the women are into each other.

That allows you to take a break and regroup without anyone feeling ignored.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I'm going to have to start watching the ice cream truck closely...this could prove to be a whole day's worth of entertainment.

7:40 PM  
Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

ONE GIRL two guys...that's the way to do it. Um, if you are a girl. :)

7:44 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

I once had the offer of two guys and a gal and I just couldn't pull the trigger. I had mixed it up a few times with the gal, who've I've known for over 30 years. I just don't know how thrilled I'd be about seeing another guys hard on. I will admit that sometimes I think I just should have gone for it for the expierence.

10:12 PM  
Blogger GalacticallyStupid said...

I had a chance once but when the chicks saw each other nekkid they just kinda went cold, and so did I. Good stuff, Beck.

7:49 AM  
Blogger red101 said...

Oh man, it's been a while since I've laughed this hard. I've got tears rolling down my face and coffee flying out my nose. Fantastic.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous LL said...

Since I was one of the girlies in your type of scenario...2 girls, one guy, NO touching between the two of us X SO have it right. That boy just couldn't keep up with us. haha Thank goodness my girl bailed out to find a loner and left me to my devices with the one we had already caught. ;-)

6:39 PM  

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