from the archives....penis of knowledge

I think I’m going to start letting muthafuckers enjoy some of the ejaculate from the penis of knowledge.

But just a little at a time cause there nothing like a full load in the face to kill the buzz. Which I wouldn’t know anything about, I just heard and shit.

Anyway, I’m always hearing the younger cats bragging shit up about how they would like to either sleep with more then one woman at the same time or that they have.

I’m gonna have to call bullshit on this little exercise in futility cause shit ain’t like it is in the movies.

Sleeping with two women or as they say in the hood, fuckin two women at the same time is just goddamned hard. Hard I tell you.

Back in the day I had the opportunity to have a go at my Penthouse moment and I’ll never do it again.

Now I will admit that it was a lot harder since the two women were of the heterosexual persuasion so there was no pitter patter shit going on betwixt the two of em, which meant that all the grunt work was left up to me.

You know how when you go to the gym to work out maybe for the first time, and you decide to get your ass up on the treadmill?

But once on you realize that after a few minutes you just wanted the muthafucker to stop so you could get off and go take a nap but you couldn’t because there were hot chicks watching you and you had to stay on and fake looking all studly and shit?

Well that’s how it was trying to have sex with two women. I just wanted to stop the ride and get the fuck off.

Also whilst you’re busy doing the act that hath no name with one chick and trying to be the cool sexy beast that you see in the mirror every morning. The other chick is either keeping herself busy or more realistically staring at you wondering what the fuck she got herself talked into.

Because no matter what you may think, you do not look cool when fuckin. You’re making faces like a retard chasing the ice cream truck and breathing hard and it’s not that pretty.

So instead of having joyous movie sex, you find yourself under the other chick’s microscope who starts giving you a ration of shit.

“I sure hope you don’t plan on slapping my ass like that cause after I get done kicking your ass, I’m nine-one-oneing somebody”.

Dude, is that “all” the dick you got? I think the kid down the street has more game then that. Maybe you need to hit the showers and I’ll give his young ass a call”

I’m just sayin that besides it being too much work, it ain’t worth all the grief from the gallery. Now days I’m just happy to be in the same room with it.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"