my bad

Saturday afternoon I was out doing laundry and I took myself a break and went outside to have a smoke.

Much to my surprise, just as I lit up Michelle showed up to hang out with me for a while.

As I’m talking to Michelle my spidey senses went off and I tuned toward the signal in time to spy this ginormously endowed chick walking toward us. Now understand all this is taking place in a matter of seconds.

I turn to Michelle and whisper;

“check out the rack on this chick”

who by that time had come up on us.

She was very attractive and slender with what looked to be a set of thirty-six FF’s if not bigger under her white shirt. Think of the above picture but with light hair and a white shirt. Yeah, just like that.

She walked into the doorway we were standing next to and I suddenly found myself sitting down to await her return so as to enjoy her from the other direction.

But just then Michelle decided to remind me about a serious problem I seem to have.

That being that I can’t whisper for a damn and she was sure that the girl heard me. So back inside the fuckin laundry we headed much to my embarrassment.

Michelle is right, in moments of excitement or so called stealthiness, my whisper is very similar to my normal speaking voice and not worth a shit.

So if you read this and were walking into Mama’s restaurant sometime Saturday afternoon. And happened to walk past the large but ruggedly handsome black man who remarked on the size of your rack, please forgive me for I never meant to be rude, I was just overly impressed by your carriage.

And if you think you might know the young lady with the light hair of the huge rack, please let her know I’m a nice guy who can’t whisper for a damn and I meant no harm.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"