praise the lord and pass the corn
Once again a wealthy musician has decided to venture forth and give their opinion on shit.
Sheryl Crow is proposing a national limitation on the usage of toilet paper. She wants to limit how many squares can be used at one sitting.
Yes, Sheryl Crow’s answer to global warming is controlling how much toilet paper we use in the fuckin shitter. It's dead-on thinking like this that probably explains why she’s a musician and not a fuckin politician.
She say’s that one square should do, maybe two in a pinch. She also thinks paper napkins are the height of wastefulness and should be replaced with something called a dining sleeve.
This would be worn on the clothing and only replaced when necessary. All this from the same chick that takes two to three tractor trailers, four tour buses and half a dozen cars with her whenever she tours.
Now here’s my energy saving solution.
Sheryl can follow me around and use her dining sleeve to wipe my ass after every shit. Maybe after a few weeks of becoming intimate with my ass, maybe she’ll learn to shut the fuck up and keep her opinions to herself.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"