small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, April 27

sweatin the small stuff

Quote from the past;
"There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant." W.C. Fields……

Thursday here at work was bring your child to work day. I’d forgotten all about this until two of my coworker’s kids popped up in my cubicle to say hi.

For a cat that doesn’t have kids, the little crumb snatchers sure seem to enjoy talking to me which I guess is a good thing?

Anyway later that day, this company is setting up this huge antenna array out in our parking lot that they want to demo for us,.

I decided to walk outside during lunch and take a look at all the goings on and shit and next thing I know I’ve attracted a small gang of little boys who follow me up the parking lot.

So we’re all standing there staring at this giant ass radio antenna and I decided to impart some of my sage wisdom to the kids.

....“See this big fuckin thing here, it’s called an antenna? You should never get to close to one or ever touch any kind of antenna unless an adults around”.

...Kids; “why?”

...“Because you could get shocked and more importantly it might fuck with your sperm and shit.”

...Kids; “……………………..”

...Kids; “so Greg, does that mean your sperm is bad?”

...“Shut up and don’t you giggling little bastards be worrying about my sperm”.

So we’re all walking back to the building and I ask one of the kids if he’s related to any of the other boys in the group.

I learn from him that they're all cousins. I mention to the kid that he sure has a lot of cousins. That’s when one of the other boys piped up with this comment.

...“Well Greg, unlike you none of our father’s have anything wrong with their sperm”.

Smartass little bastards.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Spyder said...

You are kidding me, aren't you?

2:30 PM  
Blogger Greg Beck said...


2:35 PM  
Blogger "The D" said...

I talk to my nieces and nephews the same fuckin' way.

Becasue they're little fuckers.

2:40 PM  

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