small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, May 4

sweatin the small stuff

I don’t talk on politics very often mainly because politics to me is like trying to watch the TV show “Lost”. Unless you’re in on the shit from the get-go, it gets very confusing and thus boring.

Plus as a blogger, there are so many other muthafuckers who blog about politics much better then I ever could.

So unless I’m bagging about something that might’a struck me personal, I just stay the fuck away from it. .

But there is something I want to ask the fine people of the Middle East and excuse my geography but you muthafuckers over in the Far East, Central Asia, India and Pakistan feel free to chime in as well.

Why are you muthafuckers so goddamned picky with your shit and take every thing so personal?

Now before you all start talking at once and shit, let me just point out that we have picky people over here too. We call them “assholes and such” and they include most politicians, evangelist, and a shit load of cocksuckers with more money then brains.

So it’s not like you cat’s hold the fuckin patent on being picky. But fuck me running if you don’t push the fuckin envelope.

Wasn’t it some time ago that Salman Rushdie wrote a book called the Satanic Verses that you muthafuckers didn’t care much for?

As a matter of fact if memory serves me correctly, not only did you call bullshit on Rushdie’s book but you issued a fatwa against the muthafucker that called for his death?

Now isn’t that just a tad on the over excessive side a bit?

And then there’s the “can’t show this, can’t kiss that”, “can’t touch this” crap you cat’s are always harping about. Shit, you’re worse the fuckin Mob or a goddamned Klingon when it comes to manners and respect.

It’s not like your women are generally in the habit of showing their pussies and shit and you know that Richard Gere’s gay right? So does him kissing one of your women really count as something offensive?

And then there was all the bullshit over the cartoons of Allah that bent you muthafuckers all out of shape to the point where you were rioting and breaking shit.

And wasn’t it just the other day over in Egypt during some fancy pants dinner with Condoleezza Rice where the Iran Foreign minister just got the fuck up and left the room?

Yeah, I don’t know wither to call bullshit or not, but he was all complaining and shit that the fuckin chick playing the violin was dressed too sexy? And that his “honor” dictated that he leaves the room?

Get the fuck out’a here.

All I’m say is what’s the fuckin deal?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Chris said...

Not to get all, y'know, pedantic, but yer kinda' mixin' up Indian Hindus [who Richard Gere pissed off] with Iran franchise fundamentalist Islam [they wanted Salman Rushdie's map erased]. I mean, I see your argument w/r/t clash of cultures, and the human propensity for righteous indignation, but the Hindus aren't offering a bounty for Richard Gere's head.

There are only two religions in the world with violent fundamentalist subsidiaries, and Hinduism ain't one of 'em.

Also, since opinions are like Virgin Mart butt plugs -- everyone has one! -- I will now shut up.

10:52 AM  
Blogger PGP said...

Just imagine Pat Robertson times 1000. Reason has NOTHING to do with it! These c*cksuckers are raised and trained to hate everything you have or do.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Bane said...

Bullshit, Hinduism piles up the bodies in droves. Christian and Muslim alike. See: India.

Was that Vanessa Mae that the turd walked out on? Damn, I rent her concerts on purpose. She is just fantastic, spooky good, and hot as heck, too.

12:42 PM  
Blogger emawkc said...

"he was all complaining and shit that the fuckin chick playing the violin was dressed too sexy? And that his “honor” dictated that he leaves the room? "

Criminy! The rod up his ass must have a rod up its ass!

3:54 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

Yeah, whatever. His "honor" dictated that he hurry back up to his room and spank his muslim monkey. Repressed bastards.

You just CANNOT let those juices get all backed up like that. That's why they're so cranky and have no sense of humor!

If every bit of female flesh in this country was draped in black from head to toe and you could be killed just for looking at a woman the wrong way? And then they turn around and offer you 72 virgins to go kill some infidels? Shit. That would be enough to turn me into a hate-filled, goat-fucking suicide bomber too! Hell, I'd do it for just 48 virgins. I'm on-sale. Move me to the front of the motherfucking line.

Until they all learn to LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP and fast-forward a thousand fucking years, I don't see any end in sight.

And you thought the Menonites were tight asses. They're like hangin' with Hugh at the Playboy Mansion compared to the Muslims.

Sorry to go all stereotypical, but it's true.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Their 5 billion chinese and 1 billion americans does the word armageddon mean anything to you. I'll be hideing under the couch..LOL...Evermore

8:37 PM  
Blogger paisley said...

this is off topic... i am wondering if you are all ok after the tornado.. i dont know how close to you this is,,, but i am thinking about you

6:30 PM  

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