small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: did I do that?

Wednesday, June 20

did I do that?

Not that I’m making fun of the dead, but some cat down in Texas got himself tasered by the police the other day and just burst the fuck into flames.

According to my many inside sources, the cat was all bent out of shape due to an upcoming divorce and was afraid he would lose his house and shit to his wife. So for the past few months he’d been threatening to burn himself and all his shit to the ground before he’d give anything to that bitch.

Things came to a boil the other day and the cops got called and when the cops showed up this crazy bastard pours gasoline all over himself.

At first the cops tried to talk the cat down but that didn’t work for shit so they pepper-sprayed his ass which to tell the truth after pouring gas all over yourself doesn’t do much to a muthafucker. So they ramped it up a notch and tasered him.

Let’s see………man soaked in gasoline versus taser……hmmmm, what could go wrong?

How about firing the taser and watching this crazy muthafucker flame the fuck on doing his best Richard Pryor imitation.

Now cops are currently investigating if the taser actually set the cat on fire or maybe he did it himself and it was just coincidental that it happened just as he got hit by the taser. Oh yeah, I think I can see which way this might go.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

I can see this coming up on a future episode of MythBusters.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Spyder said...

Satyavati- Love that show!

What an idiot!

5:03 PM  
Blogger Xavier Onassis said...

Yeah. He just coincidentally struck the flint on himself at the exact moment that the cop pulled the trigger.

Kinda like that stupid criminal that stole a bunch of chains and cinderblocks from a construction site and then tried to swim across the river to make his getaway, got all tangled up and died a tragic, accidental death.

Uh huh.

6:23 PM  
Blogger PGP said...

I'm wondering if the cops did anything to put him out!!

Too many bizarre mental images !!!

7:18 PM  

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