blast from the past........Lolita and the Ho-Force

I was hanging out at the Hurricane on Wednesday and Chris the gorgeously illustrated bartender had one of her movies on the big screen for our viewing pleasure.

It was the original “Lolita” and I must say that I actually got a kick out’a watching it.

This is one of those movies that I’d never rent on my own cause I’d probably think it was a “chick flick”.

And before you call me a muthafucker, let me say that some chick flicks are cool to watch. Like the one with Helen Hunt and Jack Nickelson, cause you had a bonofide tough guy in it. And the one with Harrison Ford and that on and off gay chick, “what’s her name” plane crashed on that remote island, cause you had Harrison Ford doing what he does.

These are chick flicks that kind’a land in that gray area for men. While I’m on the subject some Disney movies are kind’a iffy also. I remember when the Lion King came out I really wanted to go see it, but of course I don’t have any kids.

I even asked various women could I use their kids as a shield to get into the movie, but after a few slaps and threats of calling the cops I stopped asking.

When I finally did go the chick behind the ticket counter ripped on me, she stared me up and down and looked behind me; “is this ticket just for you sir”? Then the bitch laughed and I told her to give me my godamned ticket before I forget where I’m at.

Nowadays I just wait for it to come out on video, judgmental muthafuckers.

Anyway, I thought Lolita was a very convoluted movie. Was Lolita a Ho or was she a small child stuck in a white trash dream?

My gorgeously illustrated friend Chris thought she was just a small child deep into shit that she didn’t understand, and that she was just mimicking the actions of a woman.

I dug the part where she was ragging on her older lover about all his adult aches and pains. That really brought to the forefront the age barrier between the two of them.

But I think that young girl or not, the Ho-force was strong within her.

Chris strongly recommends that I rent the newer version of the movie, she say’s that it stays truer to the original book and that it fills in a lot of the blanks the first movie left open. But I still highly recommend the first Lolita for all the cool shit going on in the background and the chance to see a young Shelly Winters get a classic cockblockin.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"