small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Super Element Man

Thursday, July 12

Super Element Man


I’m sitting on the couch the other night doing what I normally do, scratching my nuts and flipping thru all the cable channels when I came upon a show on the science channel.

It was all about the periodic table of the elements and how scientists are always trying to come up with new elements to add to it.

I just thought that this was some of the most fascinating shit especially when I found out that some elements happen naturally in nature like Sodium which is used in table salt and some are man made like Einsteinium, which was discovered in the debris of the first hydrogen bomb test and has no fuckin use whatsoever.

So during the watching of this show it hit me, that’s the superpower I want.

The ability to instantaneously reproduce any exiting element on the periodic table or come up with new ones for what ever need I might have.

Goddamn, I’d be a bad muthafucker.

Just think, with a single thought I could come up a lightweight breathable material with the ability to absorb kinetic energy.

Yeah, something like a tee-shirt like material that absorbs anything thrown at it wither it be bullets, missiles or that occasional spilled drink.

Or on a whim I could come up with something called scatanium. This would be an element that I could throw at a person that would reek of fresh shit and would be a muthafucker to wash off.

That would fuckin rock and it goes without saying that of course I would only use my powers for good?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

3 Comments:

Blogger Nightmare said...

I am So wanting some scatanium of my own! That would rock!

10:16 AM  
Blogger PGP said...

You are a Scatologist! as Louis Armstrong used the term to describe himself!

My Own Definition:

One who has an interest in or talks about "Just Plain Old Shit" in general!
In fact I think you should be granted an honorary Doctorate of Scatology! DScat
;)

2:15 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

I'd rather have the giant robot.

7:20 PM  

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