eHarmony ate my balls

Does eHarmony.com bug anyone else as much as it does me?

Around these parts the eHarmony commercial is played all the time and the more I watch it, the more something about it nags at me.

Outwardly everything looks pretty kosher, meaning that all the couples look happy and the founder comes across like he really wants to help muthafuckers get together.

You got Black couples, Asian couples, chubby couples, white couples and even couples that share facial similarities like the big nosed couple. But that’s it, you see no mixed couples or gay couples or tattooed people or freaks. Hell, don’t freaks need love too?

I couldn’t shake the feeling that eHarmony was all too Stepford Wives and shit.

Then my shit was farther reinforced by some of the other dating commercials that featured muthafuckers that were rejected by eHarmony.

Like the skinny nerd Black guy and the chick that looked like she just fell off someone’s pussy.

As a matter of fact some people have even taken eHarmony to task over their fascist bullshit including some gay folk who tried to do a class action lawsuit against these muthafuckers.

Here’s what eHarmony said in answer to the gay’s calling bullshit on em.

"It is false to state that eHarmony discriminates against gays or lesbians and making such allegations is reckless.

The research that eHarmony has developed, through years of research, to match couples has been based on traits and personality patterns of successful heterosexual marriages.

Nothing precludes eHarmony from providing same-sex matching in the future it's just not a service we offer now based upon the research we have conducted."

I ain’t saying shit but if that isn’t a contradictory statement, I don’t know what the fuck is.

Oh and if eHarmony is a “Christian” network for so-called “Christian” couples, then advertise the muthafucker as such. Which is still bullshit since the last time I fuckin checked being a “Christian” doesn’t mean that you can’t be gay, or brown, or mixed, or Hispanic, or tattooed, or pierced, or deformed or lesbian, or anything other then these alike muthafuckers that eHarmony delights in prancing in front of the fuckin TV.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"