small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: eHarmony ate my balls

Tuesday, August 7

eHarmony ate my balls

Does bug anyone else as much as it does me?

Around these parts the eHarmony commercial is played all the time and the more I watch it, the more something about it nags at me.

Outwardly everything looks pretty kosher, meaning that all the couples look happy and the founder comes across like he really wants to help muthafuckers get together.

You got Black couples, Asian couples, chubby couples, white couples and even couples that share facial similarities like the big nosed couple. But that’s it, you see no mixed couples or gay couples or tattooed people or freaks. Hell, don’t freaks need love too?

I couldn’t shake the feeling that eHarmony was all too Stepford Wives and shit.

Then my shit was farther reinforced by some of the other dating commercials that featured muthafuckers that were rejected by eHarmony.

Like the skinny nerd Black guy and the chick that looked like she just fell off someone’s pussy.

As a matter of fact some people have even taken eHarmony to task over their fascist bullshit including some gay folk who tried to do a class action lawsuit against these muthafuckers.

Here’s what eHarmony said in answer to the gay’s calling bullshit on em.

"It is false to state that eHarmony discriminates against gays or lesbians and making such allegations is reckless.

The research that eHarmony has developed, through years of research, to match couples has been based on traits and personality patterns of successful heterosexual marriages.

Nothing precludes eHarmony from providing same-sex matching in the future it's just not a service we offer now based upon the research we have conducted."

I ain’t saying shit but if that isn’t a contradictory statement, I don’t know what the fuck is.

Oh and if eHarmony is a “Christian” network for so-called “Christian” couples, then advertise the muthafucker as such. Which is still bullshit since the last time I fuckin checked being a “Christian” doesn’t mean that you can’t be gay, or brown, or mixed, or Hispanic, or tattooed, or pierced, or deformed or lesbian, or anything other then these alike muthafuckers that eHarmony delights in prancing in front of the fuckin TV.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger PGP said...

Awww.... c'mon Greg!

Their business is hooking up straight and straight laced people.

What's the big deal??

If you're not in the market for what they peddle then move on....wouldn't that be your advice to anyone under different circumstances??
Like coming across a tranny hooker looking for your man meat and a few bucks, while on your walk home from the bar!
I suspect you'd be saying thanks but no thanks.........

6:58 PM  
Blogger Bryan. said...

I don't think that's the fucking point at all...the point is the way they try to portray the company on TV versus how they subversively attack the gay community...there's a thin form of attack in their statement itself.

I gotta agree...they turn down the business for a reason...why would a successful business turn away an entire demographic...just seems more than a little suspicious.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

ehar..what ever the the dating services do, I had a roommate that tried the shit over and over. All she got were freaks.

Since I was her roommate I got to deal with the freaks.

Bad enough she was bipolar but to deal with the on line freaks made me think no matter how nice she was, and no matter how nice her pad was I needed to get the fuck out.

I hope she found her favorite freak.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...''an entire demographic... Puleeeease. It's their company, if you don't like it, than too bad. Start your own and cater to this whoppingly huge chunk of people.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Joe said...

I'm surprised they keep it a secret that they're big bible beaters.
I found my wife on, so I'm a proponent of on line dating. Hell, it worked for me!

6:20 AM  

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