I’m fuckin old enough to understand that life is full of disappointments and that you have to learn to live with them.
It’s like the old song, “you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, and sure enough, shit will let you down”.
Last night I tuned into the Sci-Fi channel to watch the new Flash Gordon and just like those famous last words, “I won’t cum in your face”, I met head on with severe disappointment.
The old Flash Gordon was campy, stupid and a hoot to watch. Fuck, even the porn version featuring Candy Samples called Flesh Gordon was more entertaining than what the Sci-Fi channel put out.
The new Flash Gordon is some of the gayest shit I’ve ever seen.
Watching it did nothing but make me angry and wonder did these muthafuckers even watch the old movies or series.
Where’s the kickass music by Queen? Why isn’t Flash in costume? What’s up with this muthafucker being set in present day? Why do the Hawkmen look like such fey pussies?
The shit was so bad that at any minute I expected Dean Cain or Coolio to show up.
I’m just fucked up with the dumbass of it all.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"