small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Michael Vick, sued!

Wednesday, August 15

Michael Vick, sued!





I ain’t no fuckin expert but when muthafuckers in prison start fuckin with you, you just might as well give in to the fact that you’re some kind of special asshole.

As in the case of Michael Vick who’s being sued to the tune of sixty-three billion dollars.

Now I’m not going to get into all the details on Vick since if you’re smart enough to be on the internet, you’re more then likely aware of all the bullshit he’s gotten himself into.

Not only has he turned into one of the most hated men in America and is facing an ass load of federal charges. And not counting that his boys rolled over on him faster then a crackhead at a free buffet, but now he’s being sued.

According to my many inside sources, some inmate at the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina has filed a hand written lawsuit against Michael Vick for sixty-three billion dollars.

The lawsuit states that Michael Vick stole two mixed breed pit bulls from this cat and after damaging the RFID chips in the dog collars then turned around and sold em on EBay.

Along with stealing the dogs, his other claims are as follows.

• Used the proceeds from the sale of the two dogs to purchase ground to air missiles from the Iran government.

• Vick also stole his identity and used it to open accounts at Petsmart and Doggie Warehouse to buy food for Vick’s illegal dog fighting operation.

• Broke numerous copy write laws pertaining to the name Jonathan Lee Riches especially by stealing the name “Mr. Bitches” and putting it on mugs and hats.
(Jonathan Lee Riches is the cat putting out the lawsuit)

• Michael Vick has pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda.

• Michael Vick subjected me to microwave testing.

• Michael Vick has used drugs in school zones.

• Michael Vick has more then likely fondled young boys.

Jonathan Lee Riches wants the sixty-three billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates of the prison along with the promise that Michael Vick will stop hurting his feelings and dashing his hopes.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

5 Comments:

Blogger Well Hell Michelle said...

Oh wow. Sounds like he may be related to a woman who frequents my library. She believes Bush, Al Qaeda, a prostitute, and Oprah are all in cahoots to steal her legs.

1:34 PM  
Blogger PGP said...

Nothing like a good bit of irony!
Cheers

3:15 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Although I hope Vick goes down in flames so high you can see them from the space shuttle, I think all this one's gonna get is an order for extensive psychiatric help and court costs for making everyone put up with this crazy bullshit.
But this is America, and so it'll probably be on Court TV with minute-by-minute coverage.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Eolaí gan Fhéile said...

If that lawsuit works I'm gonna be mighty miffed.

3:03 AM  
Blogger yojoe said...

The same inmate has sued LaBron James and MJ.

http://dreadnaught.wordpress.com/tag/jonathan-lee-riches/

yojoe

10:05 PM  

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