small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, August 17

sweatin the small stuff

You might remember how just recently a playground in Huston caught fire and burnt the fuck up?

Another playground set on fire and burning so what’s the big deal right?

Well what makes this fire so remarkable is that it was the result of spontaneous combustion. See the playground was covered with a thick layer of wood chips laid down so as to cushion the bed-wetters if they fell off the jungle Jims or slides and shit.

Now that area had some heavy rains which soaked the wood chips which in the stifling summer heat began to decompose. Which as you all know from working out in the yard, turned the playground into your basic big stinking internal heat generating compost pile.

So much internal heat from the decomposing wood was generated that after enough time the muthafucker just lit the fuck up.

As a matter of fact that particular playground had a security camera on it so the whole shitting thing was documented.

Good thing there wasn’t any kids playing on that muthafucker when it decided to fire it up because there would’a been lawsuits for days.

Which brings me to this thought. Couldn’t you imagine all the conversations and deep thinking in the trailer parks this caused?

“Honey, did you see that here report on the TV about that playground up yonder catching afire?

“Sure did sugar. Hey have I said how hot you look in that red, white, & blue spangled tube top I got you at Wal-Mart?”

“Why thank you honey, and these pink spandex shorts shore seem to compliment it”.

For the next few minutes all you hear is the sound of PBR’s being popped open.

“Hey you kids, why don’t y’all all go down to the playground and find something to do?

Hey little Mordechai Jr? Why don’t you take mama’s Marlboros and matches along with you?”

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Nightmare said...

Serves those whiny assed liberal cocksucking parents right for making the playgroud "safe" so the booger eatin, window lickin, crumb snatchers wouldn't get hurt.

Fuck them! Now you see what happens when you try and make things safe and UN fun? God will burn it down and tell you to knock it the fuck off.

9:16 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Uh, I don't think spontaneous combustion has anything to do with a liberal agenda, but that's besides my point.

Dammit if I don't always feel ignorant when I'm reading your blog. WTF does PBR mean?

6:14 PM  
Blogger PGP said...

Darnit.... I've got a really bad urge to go down to the 711 and buy some smokes........damn........ shit ... agghhhh!

6:33 PM  
Anonymous smedrock said...

Pabst Blue Ribbon

Raytown groupie that I am....

6:59 PM  

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