You think you’ve been around a while and seen most near everything, but deep in your dark heart you know there are certain things missing. Well the other night I found one of those things. The real man’s channel “The Learning Channel” was showin a special on Contortionists. I had to tape my muthafuckin mouth shut cause my jaw kept droppin open. It was one of these shows where I wanted to call every man (and a few women) I knew and go; “you muthafuckers gots to see this. Such beauty, such skill, such limberness. Do you know that some of the top contortionists can bend their spines backwards at over 180 degrees? The average gip off the street can maybe do seven. It’s no wonder that most men dream about female acrobats. Just thinking of doin some of these people will make your head pop off from the pressure. Did you also know that where most of our spines are mostly semi rigid, the spine of a top contortionists after years of training since birth will have the suppleness of a stiff piece of rope. And that most of the top folks in this profession are from Mongolia. I used to have a stripper roommate that could pop both her ankles behind her neck, I used to think that was the shit, but after seeing that show I'm hard up for the real deal. What the hell is it about a limber women that sets a man’s teeth to chattering? The show said the funniest thing; “most contortionists can make a fair livin by being photographed for fashion shoots”. Then they showed a couple of female contortionists being photographed by a bunch of old men, Oh yeah, that looked like a “fashion shoot” to me. If those were “fashion photographers” then I’ll be runnin that four minute mile. But the special showed that they had a sense of humor about the whole thing when they interviewed a woman on her way to do a corporate show. She said; “what? A roomful of men between twenty-five and fifty, and me bending in small clothes? Oh yeah, money in the bank”. Peace