The other day I’m watching TV with Michelle and the restored version of the film classic Lawrence Of Arabia was on. I’ve seen this movie maybe twice before but for some reason I seemed to enjoy it more this time around. Anyway, one of my favorite scenes from the movie is when Lawrence decides to go back across the “Hammer Of God” to retrieve one of his Arab friends who’d fallen off his camel. But Omar Sharriff is going nuts because he thinks it’s a foolhardy attempt, and he’s bitching up a storm. But I dig the scene because it shows the depth of the two character’s friendship. And when the Turks had Lawrence tied up in jail whipping his “fair skinned” ass, did he get as the British sometime put it, a “rogering”? The film never showed the “rogering”, but if you watch Lawrence’s behavior toward the Turks from that point on, it seems to make sense. The British have such an eloquent way of putting things. And what did poor Roger do that was so bad as to get the British slang term for buttfucking named after him? Fuck, now that I think of it, ole Roger must’a been a getting around it muthafucker? You got “roger”, “roger-wilco”, and “roger-that”. Just who was Roger? He had to be heavy into ass-spelunking to get that act named after him and he must’a started off in the military or some such shit to get call-sign named after him. I know here in Kansas City there’s a “Roger The Plumber”, which even though it sounds gay, I’m sure it’s not. Oh, I forgot about “roger-dodger”, which if you say that to me will get you pushed down in a hurry. Then of course there’s the famous duo “Roger & Hammerstine”. Which brings me to this shit. James/Jim, William/Bill, Richard/Dick? Now I want one of you muthafucker’s to sit down and tell who started this shit. What in the jesus screaming fuck does James, William, and fuckin Richard have to do with Dick, Bill and Jim? What? What? Goddammit! I’m not leaving till someone tells me what the correlation is between this shit! Now Barb and Barbara make sense. Even Greg and Gregory make sense. But R-i-c-h-a-r-d has nothing to do with D-i-c-k! Now does it. Muthafucker’s don’t even sound alike. Peace