broke assed music moguls

I’m at the supermarket this morning and inside the cops had this cat all handcuffed and shit. Looked like his ass got busted shoplifting, which brings me to this question. Why shoplift in a fuckin grocery store? What, you’re gonna stick that honey baked ham down the front of your pants? Anyway, I couldn’t stop staring at this joker cause when he turned around it looked like Suge Knight, CEO of Death Row Records, same build, face, hair, the fuckin works. Hell, I didn’t even know Suge was in Kansas City, and why he’d be shoplifting is beyond me. But whoever he was they led his broke ass outside and shoved him into the back of the paddy wagon. Poor Suge, I would’a lent him a few bucks. Fuckin music moguls are all over the fuckin place, it must be the bad economy. The other day at the Hurricane the bar phone rang and it was some cat from Bad Boy Records wanting to book one of their acts. Hell, we got all excited and shit and started screaming for Puffy. “Puffy! Puffy come to the phone! Puffy, No, sorry! P-Diddie! P-Diddie!! We love your ass muthafucker, give me a fucking dollar! Send us nekked pictures of J-LO! Fuck, he could’a been in the room, you just never know.