What the fuck to do, what the fuck to do? Oooh, I know, I’ll make out my Christmas list. So lets all close our eyes and pretend I’m wearing my pink bunny suit and scrunched up all cozy on Santa’s lap.
- I want a tittie pink 56 Caddie with pink and white leather interior just like the one I drove when I was in high school.
-I want it lowered and chopped and sporting 22-inch chrome mag wheels.
- I want it to have a CD changer in the trunk and a GPS in the dash.
-And I want a big red button on the dash that when I push it a giant Mickey Mouse hand would pop out of the dash and slap the cocksuckin bejesus of whatever muthafucker happens to be pissin me off.
- I want a big red heart shaped bed sporting satin sheets that when I hit the switches it would start revolving and vibrating. It gots to have handles and straps and shit so that when I start smacking that ass we could hold on for dear life.
-And oh yeah, I want a bubble gum machine next to the bed so that if she’s a good girl she gets an extra treat.
- I want a kitty cat trained to do shit and that answers to the name “Bitch”.
-I want a seventy-two inch flat screen TV so that when I put porno on, it would make that thang life size.
-I want one of them Hugh Hefner silk mack daddy smoking jackets that I can wear when I’m lounging about the pad and shit.
-I want a two-story shower that imitates a jungle waterfall and a bigass Jacuzzi to match.
-I want a stereophonic, quadraphonic DVD multiplex surround sound stereo with eight track and MP3 and a two hundred pound gold plated turntable set in stone and a subwoofer so badass that every time I crank it up I wanna take a crap.
-I want a three-gigabyte computer with a 500 gig hard drive and all the CDR-W’s and crap like that so I can bootleg movies and download all the porn I want. And I want all that shit sitting in a billet aluminum case.
-I also want Michelle and Cassie to dress up in Wonder Woman and Dominatrix outfits with matching black leather thigh high’s and do my bidding.