small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table

Thursday, September 11


Hi Everybody or Anybody who happens upon this today. Its been a year - a long ass muthafuckin year!

This is Stephanie and Clifford and I thought we'd post up a few words in honor of Biddie, or Greg, or Death as he was known, on the day thats on his death certificate. I know in my heart
(cause of how we found stuff in his apartment) that the true day he left us was on the 9th, but I'll go w/ the paperwork thing that says the 11th.

Anyhew, like I said, its been a long ass year. We're doin' ok, making it along, but never forgetting. There are too many times when we just wanna pick up the phone to call or actually do but then realize he wont answer. My mother sometimes will say she saw a nice house for sale and for me to call Biddie and tell him about it. That was one of our things - she'd see a house, call me to call on it and I would - then call Biddie and tell him about it. Too bad my neighbor didnt get foreclosed on earlier!

The mother woman is not looking forward to her birthday next week but we'll make it thru that too. Shes stronger than she thinks she is and often thru the tears, we laugh hysterically about something Biddie would have done or would have said about something. During all this election shit, we often wonder what he would have blogged about. She misses her son terribly, some days more than others. She's strong in her faith and that gets her thru.

I want to say though, from Clifford and I, that again, we thank you for being a part of Biddies life and for helping us thru this time last year. We'll get thru today and the next week or so and be even stronger for it. We have memories and mementoes, thoughts and visions that keeps him "right here". We'll enjoy our day cause Biddie would want us to. I'm not a Beam drinker but you can bet yours or somebody elses ass I'll have something just as strong later in the day. Ya'll toast up w/ a few of 'em yourselves and enjoy the day.

We love ya!

Stephanie and Clifford

p.s. the monkey is sitting on my desk staring at me and his switch flippin days are over!

Saturday, November 3

Hi ya'll............

Hey Everybody,

This is not Greg, but Greg's sister. First of all, it's been too long a time and I havent said Thank You to everyone who helped get us thru Greg leaving us and all. I tried to write something but too often couldnt see thru the tears so I just quit. But I second a lot of what my brother said earlier. We're making it and it still stings and sucks big hairy monkey butt for me personally cause I really really really miss my brother. Its a day by day thing still, but in time it'll smooth itself out. I kinda laugh to myself when I think about its Greg, my father and my grandfather all up in heaven together. The grandfather is preachin, daddy is settin little fires everywhere so he can put 'em out and keep busy and Greg is sittin back in the cut eyeballin everything. Remember the movie "Micheal" w/ John Travolta playing the bad-ass angel w/ dirty not so pretty wings? Theres Greg: wings a tad lopsided and the halo is a bit tarnished and tilted to the side. But God is good w/ it and let's him do his thing.

We thank you for your love and support and whenever I get around to printing and having all his rants bound in a book, I'll let the world know.

p.s. R.I.P. Gregory Edward Beck and tell Daddy, Grandma Stella, Popo and the rest of the gang we all said hey and love ya!

So says the sister.......
"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Tuesday, October 16

Hello Everyone

It's been over a month now since Greg took up God's offer to watch the door and check ID's of folks trying to get into heaven.
It's been hard for us dealing with Greg's passing. We're better now, but our day's are still up and down. Especially mine.
I'd like to thank again everyone for their thoughts,prayers,kindness,respect,and love that was showered upon us leading up to his funeral,and the day of. The sea of red on that day bought tears to the eye's of each and everyone of us. It was a pleasure to put the faces together with the names I've had the pleasure of reading over the years. The hugs & handshakes warmed my heart,and I'm happy to call each and everyone of you my brother & sister for life.
I had given some thought to coming home for Thanksgiving. But I don't think so. This still hurts,and I feel I need a bit more of time to myself. I really don't want to make this post about me, but as friends of Greg and my family I want to let you know what's on my mind.
I will be home sometime in the next year,and I'm looking forward to seeing as many of you that I can at the RecordBar and or whereever we decide to meet.

Death's Door,the view from the Spanish Announcers Table will stay up. Comments are welcome, hell,we're looking forward to them. I for one don't want to change a thing about Death's Door, but that's a later topic for Michelle,Stephanie,and myself. Let me know what's going on with you. I'm at cbeck715ATmindspringDOTCOM

Some years back a movie came out about the life of Brian Piccilo,a running back for the Chicago Bears. The movie was a accurate telling of his friendship with Gale Sayers. Brian Piccilo died of cancer. What I remember most of the movie was the last line that was said regarding Brian Piccilo and how I feel it applies to Greg.

In remembering Greg, lets not dwell on his death,and be sad. Smile and remember how he LIVED.

As Always

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Tuesday, September 11

and the monkey flipped the switch

Hi, it's Michelle. I wish I could be guest blogging under different circumstances, but it's not to be.

Greg Beck has passed away. He was found in his home by his family this morning, and we believe that big, generous heart of his finally gave out. Funeral arrangements are being made, and I'll post an update when there are more details.

And as Greg would say, here's a blast from the past...

"As a cat gets older we sometimes begin to think of death and living and how we want to be remembered. And I’ve decided that not only do I want to be cremated... but I want every chick at my funeral rocking the red dress. That’s right, a low-cut red dress with those come fuck me at midnight heels. Well, except for my mother cause I doubt she’ll be having any of that shit. So remember, if brain dead, pull the feeding tube, cremation, and red dresses."

Greg Beck, June 28th, 2005

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Friday, September 7

sweatin the small stuff

From the “grumpy old muthafucker” department…………..

Maybe because where I live they’re thick as fuckin cockroaches and always underfoot and I’ve had first hand opportunity over the years to see em interact in bars.

But I’ve always held a less then stellar view when it comes to my younger collage bound brethren. Without going into a drawn out discussion, some of you are truly stupid.

I know that the majority of you clueless fucks have a lot on the ball. But goddamn, I truly fear for the welfare of America if some of you muthafuckers are supposed to represent the future fold.

Seriously, I’m dumbfucked trying to figure out how some of you little fey backpack wearing fucks can walk and hold a conversation at the same time without burning your fuckin brains out and pissing yourselves.

Do I sound harsh?

Maybe but here’s a story that will prove my point.

Up in Boston a couple of Northern University freshmen are well on their way to getting fucked in the ass for the rest of their lives. All simply because they never learned to fuckin whisper or what it means to be fuckin discreet.

I’m just saying that when you lean your stupid, mouth breathing dumb hipster ass out your dorm room window to scream at some other equally stupid hipster in the building next fuckin door.

And you holler loud as a muthafucker that your roommate has weed for sale? Don’t act so fuckin shocked when the cops do the bum’s rush on your door and bust both your stupid asses.

Which is what happened when this cat did just that and was overheard by some plainclothes cops who just happened to be patrolling the fuckin grounds.

When the cops searched their dorm room they found weed, the shit to smoke it with, scales and a shitload of booze just all out in the open and shit. Whatever happened to being all cool and stealthy with your shit?

Back in the day the only cat that hollered out of windows and shit was the neighborhood retard who wore the football helmet everywhere he went. And even he knew that if he had shit for sale he had to be cool about it.

Shit, he’d stutter and drool all day long until it came time to sell that dime. Then he’d flip and get all Pinky the Brain and shit on a muthafucker until the transaction was done.

According to my many inside sources, both Bevis and Butthead were arraigned in District Court on Tuesday on charges of possession of a class D substance with intent to distribute in a school zone, possession of alcohol by a minor, and conspiracy to violate the state's drug laws.

The intent to distribute charge carries a maximum of two years in jail. Plus the fuckin university kicked both of em out of school.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Thursday, September 6

:o face

So last night per my usual habit, I’m sitting on the couch in my underwear watching “Ghost Hunters” on the Sci-Fi channel.

I just find this show so fuckin fascinating simply due to the fact that they willingly go looking for ghosts and shit.

I usually watch in the dark with the only illumination being the screen of my computer across the room from me. I sit there in my dimly lit apartment going, “ok that was scary” “you might not want to go into the basement cause it looks scary” “oooh, that was a scary sound” “man that looks like some scary shit”.

I think you get my drift; so anyway I’d just gotten off the phone with Michelle when suddenly from out of nowhere I hear clear as day the sound of a phone ringing.

Not a normal ring mind you, but kind’a all ethereal and shit.

Then that sound is followed by a woman’s voice!

In a split second it goes from me sitting there all calm as a muthafucker enjoying the TV to me turtleing out the back of my underwear and scrambling to my feet making that face no black man ever wants to make.

You know the one right? Where my mouth is wide open in the shape of an O and my eyes are bugging out?

Yeah that’s the face.

That’s when I realized that I had neglected to hang up my stupid speaker phone after talking to Michelle and it was doing that thing that phones do when you leave em off the hook. Silly me.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Wednesday, September 5

down in front

Well it looks like somebody’s kid got told to shit the fuck up because they had their head up their ass.

I’m talking about this big fancy hoo-doo that went down this past weekend in Miami for Black Enterprise magazine.

According to my many inside sources, funnyman Eddie Griffin was hired as part of the entertainment. And when it came his turn to do his thing on stage Friday night, he started dropping the N-word like it was fuckin going out of style.

Now at this big fancy hoo-doo was a literal who’s-who of black crème de la crust types among others who weren’t digging Eddie’s shit one bit.

Everything came to a head when Eddie asked the crowd. “Why are our Black leaders telling us to stop using the N-word?”

That’s when his mike went dead and Earl Graves, the publisher of Black Enterprise magazine and the one who hired Eddie’s signifying ass, stepped up on stage.

"We will not allow our culture to go backwards. We will pay Mr. Griffin all that we owe him but we will not allow him to finish the show if that's the way he's going to talk."

And ole Eddie got told to unass the stage.

I’d like to think that Earl got all old school on Eddie and whispered in his ear that he was gonna fuck Eddie’s shit up if he didn’t step off, but of course that probably never happened. Right?

And to be fair this was Eddie Griffin after all, who’s known for his excessive use of the N-word in his routine.
It’s like what I always tell people. “Don’t let the fuckin dog out of the yard if you know he’s gonna bite”.

t doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Eddie ain’t right and that he’s not gonna behave. So even though Eddie Griffin’s a local boy from Kansas City, I have to say he did shit the bed on this one.

Plus if the truth be known I stopped digging Eddie ever since he came out with that stupid, stupid sitcom “Malcolm & Eddie” that was based in Kansas City. I still think someone owes me TV money from that fuckup.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Tuesday, September 4

fuck me running

I feel like I haven’t slept in days. Without the courtesy of a reach-around or hug, stress is fucking me something fierce.
“Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out”

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Friday, August 31

sweatin the small stuff

If you’re like me I know you’re sick and tired as a muthafucker of hearing about all the pissing contests between various religions, countries and cultures.

I’m offended by this, I’m offended by that, your hangnail offends my people. It’s no secret that there’s a lot of touchy muthafuckers out there.

And it doesn’t seem to matter what the fuck it is, whither it be the shape of your eyes or the hue of your skin to what hand you wipe your ass with. Someone somewhere is gonna get offended by it.

Well, here’s a cultural offence that I think we can all get behind. Check this out.

Now it’s no big secret that shit ain’t all warm sweaty hugs and wet kisses between China and Japan which is mostly due to Japan’s invasion and occupation of China in the first half of the 20th Century. And now lately due to China’s pesky little habit of firing missiles into the Sea of Japan.

But now China’s well known Shaolin Temple, the very same Shaolin Temple that became famous as the training ground for Kwai Chang ”Grasshopper” Caine in the 1970s “Kung Fu” TV series has been offended.

What happened was that on the internet someone said that back in the day a bunch of Shaolin Monks got their collective asses kicked by a visiting Japanese Ninja.

And now China’s fuckin Shaolin Temple, which is the fuckin cradle of Chinese kung fu, is calling bullshit and demanding an apology from whomever the fuck said that.

And I quote; “the so-called defeat is purely fabricated, and we demand the Internet user to apologize to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did”.

According to my many inside sources, the Internet user, who calls themselves “Five Minutes Every Day,” said on an online forum last week that a Japanese ninja came to the Shaolin Temple looking for a fight and ended up kicking the no hair having crap out of a bunch of Shaolin Monks.

And this simple statement has pissed off not only the Shaolin Temple but most of stinkin China it’s self.

Especially since the internet goes on to say that due to the fact that the monks could not defeat a Japanese ninja showed that they were named as kung fu masters in vain. Or better yet a bunch of gay pussies.

This is like the famous argument who could kick whose ass, Jet Li or Jackie Chan. Personally I think that Jet Li would go all prison rape on ole Jackie, but that’s just one man’s opinion.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Thursday, August 30

I'm not gay! I just happen to like the taste.........

Quote of the week;
If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker

I think folks are being too harsh on Senator Larry “I’m not gay” Craig.

Just because you happen to like the taste of cock betwixt your cheek and gums, that doesn’t make you gay right?

And who hasn’t taken a “wide stance” whilst taking a shit in an airport or bus station restroom or your local truckstop?

And who among us hasn’t had a song stuck in their heads and found themselves tapping to the beat whilst taking such a “wide stance” in a public restroom?

Give the muthafucker a break why don’t you? It’s like what Joey Bananas used to say back in the day. “You’re only gay if you’re on the bottom”.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"