After I turned thirty I decided to buy a piece of the rock so I purchased a house on the Trafficway that overlooked the downtown valley. After a while a good friend of mine moved in with me as a roommate. She bartended in Westport and went to school at one of the local colleges. She was very cool and laid back but was a closet exhibitionist, so we had a lot in common. One year she won an amateur stripper contest and after that being a dancer was all she wanted to do. Unknown to most people cause she always played the dumb-blond-in-peril she actually had an IQ in the 180’s and spoke French like a native. She was a six-year college student and every year she made the Dean’s List. But after college she weighed her options and figured out that strippin would give her a bigger payout then using her degree. And yes I did bitch and moan tryin to talk her out of it, but as with most women the more I bitched the more she fought me on her decision. You’d think by now I’d learn my lesson. But anyway around this time the Stressed Out Italian Stripper was makin her presence known again. She had used up all the rich Texan’s money and was lookin to move in again. She showed up one day and asked me if she could store her Porsche in my garage while she took a trip for a couple of weeks. I rolled over because soon as she was out’a sight I stuffed my fat ass in it and went for a spin. I never wanted the Stressed Out Italian Stripper to meet the roommate cause I always thought she’d try to eat the other one alive. For whatever reason the Stressed Out Italian Stripper was always very territorial when it came to me. The roommate knew about the Stressed Out Italian Stripper but only in a “don’t let this chick in when I’m not here” kind of way. But as luck would have it I walked in one day and there they were, both women were sittin on the couch talking about me, shoes and strippin. My life as I knew it was all over. The Stressed Out Italian Stripper moved in. I never did find out who had the dominant cycle, but I think the Roommate ruled the roost. She was so down to earth and easygoing that the Stressed Out Italian Stripper’s bad attitude was negated at every turn. So there I was, leader of my own little commune. For about two years we three had a great time. The Roommate stripped while the Stressed Out Italian Stripper stripped and I worked on the house, bounced and worked for the Man. One day I came home from work late and hopped into bed. Later the Roommate came home from her gig and hopped into bed. The Stressed Out Italian Stripper came home and I heard her stop at the bedroom door. I could feel her staring at the scene before her. In my bed laid myself and tucked in on the other side of me was the Roommate. I heard a deep sigh and then the Stressed Out Italian Stripper crawled in on the other side of me. I just laid there takin it all in, wow, I’m in bed with two hot women. Then the four cats and the stupid dog hopped into bed and that kind’a ruined that Penthouse moment. But every two or three nights a week for a while, that was the sleepin arrangements. Since most of the time I was a grouchy non-talkin bastard both girls went out of their way to keep me entertained. There’s nothing like coming home from work and finding all the traffic in front of your house backed up for two blocks in either direction. I’m tryin to see what’s wrong when I hear a giggle and I look up and both girls are hanging from the third floor rafters cleaning the windows. And they’re doing it wearin shorts and bikini tops. Every man going thru the intersection in front of my house more or less put their shit in park and sat thru two or three red lights enjoying the view. I got booed something fierce when I made em go inside. At least my home life has never been dull. Word.