burning down the house

I don’t fuckin get it, I can cook shit at home that’ll make a dog cough up, but let me eat anything out’a the stinkin cafeteria in this fuckin building and I’m wearin a path in the carpet running back and forth to the fuckin bathroom. Then when my crownin ass gets to the bathroom I gots to waste time inspecting the stalls cause my co-worker’s take this insane delight in pissing on the fuckin floor. And muthafucker’s ain’t seen anger until a cat’s dropped his fuckin pants onto a puddle of someone else’s piss. And then on top of all that I’m forced to listen whilst other muthafucker’s take a fuckin shit. And goddammit that’s just wrong. I’m a quiet crapper; I enjoy the peace and quiet of one’s own bowl movement when I’m in the comfort of my own home. But not these rude muthafucker’s I work with. They come stomping in and slam the lid down and as soon as they plop their asses down they start grunting like they’re climbing fuckin Pikes Peak and shit. Some of em even make like a car engine, all revving up like it’s gonna make a difference. Then you hear this noise like paper ripping and then it’s the sound of shit bricks hitting the water. It sounds like the stinkin Japanese bombing goddamn Pearl Harbor and shit. And you gots to know that some of these cats are older then a muthafucker and that their ballsacs gots to hanging in the fuckin water. Wrong wrong wrong wrong! That’s all I’m sayin.