I'll do anything for a dollar

I spent the day home sick, I woke up this morning feelin like something the cat coughed up. So I called in my option and stayed home and didn’t do shit. But tomorrow’s a different story, I gots to be on top of my game and all that good shit. It’s a good chance I’ll be facing one of the most difficult days of my career. So after a good night’s sleep I’ll wake up at o’dark thirty and begin my preparations for the day ahead. Rub one out, evacuate my bowls, shave my head, and take a nice long shower, then off to be a minion of the Man. Cause this is the day that most refer to as All Hollowed Eve, and it’s also the same day that all the Fememites mark down as our annual Halloween party. Tomorrow is the day that my co-worker’s dress up in the costume of their choice and all the departments face off in a war to raise funds for the social committee. There’ll be bad food, cheesy things for sale, and in the middle of all this will be yours truly. Sitting in the middle of our plush conference room whilst my co-worker’s line up to pay a dollar for the opportunity to take a muthafuckin pie and smash it into my fuckin face! What the fuck is my goddamn malfunction? I normally refuse to take part in this sort of nonsense but in a moment of weakness and because only one chick had signed up, I broke down and decided to be a man about shit and do what needed to be done. So, there it is, what do you muthafucker’s think? Would you pay a dollar to hit me in the face with a pie without fear of retribution? Hell yes, you muthafucker’s would line up around the fuckin block. Fuck I’d pay a dollar to hit my own self in the face with a pie. At last the Man can’t say I’m not a team player.