small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, April 20

sweatin the small stuff


I couldn’t think of anything or anyone to bag on so instead of just skipping today’s post, I’m slapping up one of favorites from back in the day

I want a prehensile cock, you know, one that I can move around and shit just like a porpoise.

Yeah, they got one around three feet long that has little fingers on the end of it that they use to search the ocean bottom for food and shit.

Swear to god it’s true, I even saw it on a poster I got off the back of a Rolling Stone magazine from back in the day. “Penis’s of the Animal Kingdom”, it was called.

The poster showed all these animals along with the various cocks they were sporting. Did you know a pig has a cock shaped like a corkscrew?

Anyway, since I was just a youngster, I’ve always wanted a prehensile cock, hell, if for nothing else it’d be a great conversation piece and what an icebreaker at parties.

“Hey you muthafuckers watch this! Hey lady! Pass me some of that shrimp”!

And think of the sex, you’re smacking that ass until the chick goes, “how are you smacking my ass if both your hands are on my shoulders.”

“What the fuck? Oh my God! Get that thing the fuck off me! No wait, let me rethink that”. That shit would rock.

Plus how cool would it be sitting on the couch with a smoke in one hand and a cold beer in the other hand whilst using your prehensile cock to channel surf using the remote.

Think of all the tricks you could teach it, the prehensile ventriloquist cock, the kazoo blowing prehensile cock.

And after fitting it with a pair of shades and a hat, you could teach it to hold conversations with the blond on the next barstool while you did something meaningful, like drink. Again, I’m just sayin.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

6 Comments:

Blogger PGP said...

Ever heard of Ed The Sock?

Google it! ;)

2:23 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Despite the fact that I look so very innocent, I can trip a freak meter any day of the week... but I'm sorry, that's just a little too creepy for me.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous LL said...

Hmmm, I DID know that about the pigs. How? When I was in Korea there was a pig house nearby where they raised 'em. I was over there checkin' out the little piglets when the Korean dude who owned the place was helping the giant hog get it on with the sow. That pig's dick shot out and the guy GRABBED it and tried to stuff it where it belonged.

I still like bacon.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want one with a sense of smell!

Billy Smith xpert tree climber

11:50 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Brain Bomb said...

LOL. Your creativity is almost frightening, Greg.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I am laughing so hard I can barely type. Great post Greg.

4:37 PM  

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