two middle fingers up!

I broke my sunglasses on Friday so Saturday I went out to replace em. Can you believe I’ve had em for almost five years? But when I went to the fat ass men’s clothing shop where I’d gotten em before, I was told that sunglasses were seasonal items, so they wouldn’t have em back in stock until spring? What the fuck is that all about? The fuckin sun shines year the fuck around doesn’t it? I mean goddamn, it’s not like I live in the fuckin Antarctic and shit where it’s dark half the fuckin year. And hell, even if I did, I’d still wear the muthafucker’s. I hate it when a stupid muthafucker walks up to me and asks me why I’m wearin shades in the fuckin winter. It takes all I got not to spit on em. But anyway, I’m on the search for new sunglasses and shit. I spent the rest of Saturday watching movies, and here’s a quick rundown.
Movie one: The fuckin Hulk: You know every time some comic strip movie comes out all the fanboy’s bitch and moan about character development, or the lack of. “They didn’t explore the reasons behind why his parents brutal rape at the hands of the damned filthy monkey’s played into his reason for wearin the silver mask”. Well, the first half of this whole movie was nothing but muthafuckin character development. It was like goddamn, where’s the Hulk? Where’s the Hulk? Where’s the Hulk? Where’s the Hulk? Where’s the Hulk? Is that the Hulk? Goddammit! Where’s the Hulk? Where’s the Hulk? I don’t really care why the Bruce Banner is such a pussie; I want to see the fuckin Hulk smash shit, which was cool once he started busting shit up. And how fucked up was the ending? Did that make any sense to anybody?
Movie two: Charlie’s Angles part two. Fuck you, I hated this movie so much I can’t even remember the full title. Actually I don’t really hate it, it’s just that it was so fuckin boring that I shut it off after twenty minutes. I heard that they were blaming Demi Moore for the movie tanking so badly, don’t blame her, it tanked because it was boring.
Movie three: The Matrix reloaded. Is that the right title? This is the movie that I walked out on six months ago cause it bored the Jesus lovin fuck out’a me. But I rented it and made myself watch the whole thing this time. It was ok, nothing to get wet over. The Zion dance number is still the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Michelle and I were talkin the other night and we both agreed that it was so fucked up watching the Lord of the Rings and listening to the head elf talk and hearin the voice of Agent Smith come out.
Actually Shallow Hal was probably the best thing I watched all weekend if you want to know the truth. Girl and guy find each other in the end and all is well. Michelle ask me would I like to see all woman the same way Hal did, you know, in a see the inner beauty kind of way. I told her I already do.