Action! Fetch!!

I sat down the other night to watch the "special" DVD that my friends picked up for me whilst they were over in Amsterdam a few weeks ago. Yeah, whenever someone I know goes overseas, I always tell em to bring me back some of that good (insert name of country here) porn. And would you believe someone actually did? The DVD goes by the title "my dog is my cure" and it's a bestiality movie. You know, girl meets dog, dog falls in love with girl, and dog does girl. Not big on plot or character development but it's a dog. His main lines are wag the tail, drool a lot, lick lick lick, and hump the girl. Not a whole lot going on here if you know what I'm sayin. So I put the DVD into my computer to check it out, and on my TV I had the local news on. I actually found myself watching more of the news then the movie. It was that fucking boring. I mean like goddamn, it's not like I'm gonna walk by some chick humping her dog and not watch, but on film it was just blah. All it consisted of was some fat chick blowing her fuckin Dingo and trying to sit on it. Poor fuckin pooch. It ain't bad enough that you're taken from your native wilds and stripped of your dignity, but then your furry ass is thrown into a room full of hot lights and forced to do some chick I wouldn't fuck for a chew toy. All I could think of whilst watching the movie was what was the dog thinking? Is it going "damn that's one butt ugly dog they stuck me with". " What the fuck? My big chance to fuck a human and this is the best I got to work with"? But actually since it's a dog it's most likely thinking, "food food food food food food must lick balls must lick balls must lick balls. Michelle told me that because the movie bored me, it was a sign of how jaded and indifferent the Internet has made me. I told her she was full of crap, it was a fat chick blowing a small dog. That in it's self is boring.
and the monkey flipped the switch