why do they all have to be so fuckin young?

Sitting here looking out my window I’m feeling the urge to confess. I want to confess because I feeling that I have befallen some of the exceptions expected of me. I besmirched my own reputation as a man and as the baggy pants wearin kids would say; “I’m not all that”.

See it was the first night of the vacation and we had just pulled into Fort Worth, Texas where our first stop was at the home of Cara, the sister of Sara, the chick I was riding with. Corey and Sara with were gonna stay with her for a couple of days and attend her college graduation whilst I found myself a motel.

So we arrived at Cara’s place just as this huge getting the fuck out’a college party was getting started. Sara vanished inside whilst Corey and I wondered around back where the garage was. We met Cara’s hotass roommate who offered us the choice of cold beer or fresh frozen margaritas from the fuckin margarita machine they had in the garage.

So there’s the two of us tired from the road leaning against the backyard fence as smoking college chick after smoking college chick slinked past us to the garage where the beer and margaritas were. Every fuckin girl was young, dressed like a show pony and they all still had that new car smell. I meaning that that these chicks still had the shine on em. Corey told me that I could stay for the party and Cara would fix me a pad on the floor afterwards, or I could just hang for a while before going to find a motel.

I poured myself another frozen margarita and thought it over as another half dozen fresh-faced, firm, perky breasted coed types slid past us sporting what passed for the latest in college evening wear. Which wasn’t much. And I turned to Corey and told him that he better get me to a motel cause if I stick around here I’m either gonna upset some shit or get myself into a lot of trouble.

So I found a cheap motel out on the freeway with a pool and a vending machine that not only dispensed chocolate doughnuts but had condoms and hand cream too? I locked my door and turned on the Discovery Channel as I readied for bed thinking that I did the right thing by not staying at the party. And that somewhere a gold star was being placed next to my name for being a stand up guy.

Sniff………...........

"and the monkey flipped the switch"