small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: why do they all have to be so fuckin young?

Thursday, May 26

why do they all have to be so fuckin young?


Sitting here looking out my window I’m feeling the urge to confess. I want to confess because I feeling that I have befallen some of the exceptions expected of me. I besmirched my own reputation as a man and as the baggy pants wearin kids would say; “I’m not all that”.

See it was the first night of the vacation and we had just pulled into Fort Worth, Texas where our first stop was at the home of Cara, the sister of Sara, the chick I was riding with. Corey and Sara with were gonna stay with her for a couple of days and attend her college graduation whilst I found myself a motel.

So we arrived at Cara’s place just as this huge getting the fuck out’a college party was getting started. Sara vanished inside whilst Corey and I wondered around back where the garage was. We met Cara’s hotass roommate who offered us the choice of cold beer or fresh frozen margaritas from the fuckin margarita machine they had in the garage.

So there’s the two of us tired from the road leaning against the backyard fence as smoking college chick after smoking college chick slinked past us to the garage where the beer and margaritas were. Every fuckin girl was young, dressed like a show pony and they all still had that new car smell. I meaning that that these chicks still had the shine on em. Corey told me that I could stay for the party and Cara would fix me a pad on the floor afterwards, or I could just hang for a while before going to find a motel.

I poured myself another frozen margarita and thought it over as another half dozen fresh-faced, firm, perky breasted coed types slid past us sporting what passed for the latest in college evening wear. Which wasn’t much. And I turned to Corey and told him that he better get me to a motel cause if I stick around here I’m either gonna upset some shit or get myself into a lot of trouble.

So I found a cheap motel out on the freeway with a pool and a vending machine that not only dispensed chocolate doughnuts but had condoms and hand cream too? I locked my door and turned on the Discovery Channel as I readied for bed thinking that I did the right thing by not staying at the party. And that somewhere a gold star was being placed next to my name for being a stand up guy.
Sniff………...........

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

4 Comments:

Blogger Grampapinhead said...

Glad you are back, you were missed.

,,,,,He's Back.....
I said it before, but just in case you missed it---
'writes like a bad ass, but really got it together'
A humungous black dude, living in middle america
has just returned from an all-white vacation and has
he got some stories.

We headed off to open water and that’s when my many years of government tax dollar paid training kicked in and I noticed a few things.
1. There were no life jackets.
2. There was nothing for me to hold on too.
3. Charlie drove fast as a muthafucker.
4. I thought I was gonna fuckin die.
Link Death's Door

9:47 PM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I once had to call my girlfriend and tell her I was a pedophile. I was walking through and airport checking out this J-lo-esque ass in front of me just a swaying like a pedulm in a big assed clock. I was mezmorized! Then she turned the corner and I saw that she was all of 13/14 and I was very ashamed.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

The Gym I go to has tons of young women like that. A younger friend of mine and I were standing talking near the stretching area when this young teen girl lays on the floor and starts stretching. It looked like she was going through a gyno exam the way she was stretching and had barely anything on. Both of us bolted for another area, If I would have been her dad I would have had to tell her a few things. Man I am old.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live across the street from a high school and work in my studio in the garage, so I'm home most of the day. I tell you this, girls did not dress like this when I was 17. My lord.

2:41 PM  

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