a year older

Since I’m sitting here in my robe doing nothing I guess I could update on what I’ve been doing the past few days. Friday I went to the Hurricane to hang out and such, and when I got there this cat was sitting at the bar nursing his beer. I’d never seen the cat before but something about him set me instantly on edge. A few minutes later a bunch of guys walked in and after listening to em yak at the bartender I gathered that they were from out of town and here for the football game that was coming up on Sunday. They start asking the bartender about where to go and this is when the cat at the bar decided to be all helpful and shit.

At first he started off telling em about Westport and some of the local bars, but then he also decided to let em know how dangerous it was for nice white folk such as themselves to walk around at night. His whole spiel consisted of “watch out for Them, They will rob you, They will steal all your shit and rape your women, stay amongst other white people and you’ll be safe from Them”. I looked at the bartender and asked her who the fuck was They, and how long had this freak been in here even though I knew full well who the cocksucker was talking about.

I decided since it was Friday and my birthday weekend I’d just ignore the muthafucker even when the backup band for Rob Thomas came in and he started running the same shit down to them. He did end up getting his just rewards a couple of hours later though. The bigot bastard ended up sneaking his beer under his coat and leaving, so later I was talking to the head doorman about the cat when we saw him fixing to come thru the door. I said there’s that bigoted bastard I was telling you about just as he tried to slip thru the door. The head doorman, who’s a big guy and black by the way, stopped the bigot and told em there was a cover charge. What happened next only proved what I always knew, that most bigots are really really stupid. The cat actually tried to do the bum’s rush on the door and got his silly ass taken down. A fine beginning to my birthday weekend I thought.

Saturday all I did was hang at home and clean house. Sunday night I went to the Record Bar and hooked up with some friends and drank my share, your share and theirs in whiskey, various shots and champagne. After that we all ended up at the Hurricane where the debauchery continued until I went home. Or I should say I was taken home, yup I was in no shape to drive. As always after a night like that I wake up and do a complete inventory. Full body check, look out and check my car…..oops I left it at the bar, credit card..check, license…check, watch, rings…….dammit, my big pinky ring is missing.

And can I say how much it sucks waking up with a hangover and catching a cab in ten degree weather to go find my car? Last night I went to the Hurricane to meet someone and as I was telling her bout my prior evening and how I came thru fairly unscathed even though I lost my pinky ring, she pointed to above the bar where to my delight hung my ring from a strap. The bartender found it that night and after seeing how large it was knew it had to be mine. So with that found I can say that I had a really cool relaxed birthday and want to thank all my friends who took the time out to spend it with me.



"and the monkey flipped the switch"